Stop chasing positive emotions. No one is happy all the time unless
they’re a robot. Anyone who says they are is just full of it!
Fulfillment can be present even when happiness is not.
Martin Seligman, the father of positive psychology advises us to “stop chasing positive emotions.”
Positive psychology is the only branch of psychology that studies mental health and wellness; as well as what it takes to get there.
Traditional psychology studies disease (dis-ease), and how to put a band aid or drug over something dysfunctional.
Energy flows where attention goes. You move toward what you focus on.
If you’re constantly thinking about what you want to avoid,
and what’s not there, you’ll create more of what you want
to avoid and what’s not there.
Look, let’s face it full on. NO ONE is happy all the time. In fact if someone ever appears to be non-stop happy, they scare the living shit out of me!
Anyone who tells you ‘they never have a bad day’ is either in
deep denial or they’re flat out lying. Mastery is about acknowledging
what is, finding the faulty expectation potentially causing it,
and then utilizing it to grow and improve.
The fact, is that someone with a non-stop painted on smile and “upbeat attitude” is either in denial, suppression, or they’re just putting on a nice plastic facade for the crowd.
With all due respect, social media is full of these people; and that’s why research proves that Facebook actually makes a lot of us feel depressed.
The dishonest approach of the traditional self-help movement is in many
cases creating more depression and self-judgment than empowerment.
Those who pretend to be “positive” all the time make normal humanity
feel like something is wrong with them. There’s not a damn thing wrong
with you. Wake up. Stand up. Embrace your humanity and see its strength.
The only “person” who’s smiley and upbeat and “positive” all the time is a droid. Not a human.
Happiness, like all human emotions, is temporary and transitory. In other words, according to the Law of Rhythm, it comes and goes. So does sadness, anger, frustration and any other emotional experience.
The only “person” who’s smiley and upbeat and “positive” all the time is a droid.
Not a human. Deep denial and suppression scare the hell out of me.
Yet fulfillment can be present even when happiness is not.
So James, what do I go after if not the happiness I’ve been conditioned to chase?
Language has limitations; and you may argue that fulfillment is an emotion too.
Allow me the liberty to suggest that fulfillment is a state of being versus an emotion.
The definition of fulfillment is “the meeting of a requirement or condition.”
So if the requirement of yourself is to LIVE and live fully, this requirement is NOT contingent upon so-called happiness.
Fulfillment can exist when happiness is not present. Please read that again and let it sink in.
Fulfillment can exist when happiness is not present.
Life has inevitable ups and downs. Challenges, difficulties, disappointments and frustrations. But when your only requirement for yourself is that you fully LIVE and GROW, then you’ll be completely and totally fulfilled in the midst of it all.
And God knows we all grow the most in the crucible of challenge. Not admiring rainbows and smelling sweet perfumes.
Growth and fulfillment, that’s my greatest wish for you; and for all I’m blessed to serve and support.
A complete and full-filling life.
Now go out and do something masterful today. Time is of the essence.
Stay Awake, Love Life, and Be Epic!