“Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”
~ Victor Hugo
I was conducting a personal mentoring session recently (something I’m doing again now) and the young lady I was working with was on the tail end of a tough divorce (aren’t they all tough?), while simultaneously doing her best to figure out what to do with her home and how she was going to earn a living. As a single mom these were all very real issues.
At one point she said to me, “I just don’t know if I can do this. I’m tired; and I don’t think I’m healed from my divorce yet. I just need to take some time off.”
I took a deep breathe…
You see, as an effective mentor you don’t always give individuals what they want to hear. You with all care and true compassion do your best to give what they need to hear for growth and forward motion. The harmony between these two is an often difficult task.
The key words here are “with all care and true compassion do your best.” Once again remember that the word “passion” from the Latin translates as “suffering.” (reference the Alchemy series). True com-passion is “common suffering.” And you can’t truly have it unless you’ve been there done that. Are you with me?
I said to her, “You know I still have bad dreams about prison on a frequent basis. Obviously I’m not ‘healed’ in the traditional sense from the trauma of the last five years of my life,” I continued, “but true healing is completely differently than what most people believe. You don’t ever really heal if that means that it no longer exists or it’s invisible.”
I held out my left arm which has a long scar from elbow to wrist. This zipper like scar is constant physical reminder of a horrible head on collision I had while riding my Kawasaki Ninja back in the late 80’s. I had tangled head on with a car. The car won. I spent 4 weeks in intensive care. My forearm was shattered and I almost lost my left hand.
I finished, “You learn to integrate and function with the scars.”
True healing is integration and utilization… not eradication
The scars in our life give us character, experience, depth, and compassion. They give us galloping good stories to live and tell another day. Remember all of Life is about more life… even when it appears to be the exact opposite. (reference the Alchemy series)
I went on to tell her how I fantasized the entire time while I was in prison how I was going to sweep up my sweetheart … and we were going to whisk away to Cabo or Hawaii upon my release… just kick our heals up and drink umbrella drinks in the sun. After all… “I needed time to heal… and by God I deserved it!” Didn’t I?
Haven’t done it; and I have no plans in the near future. There are too many things to accomplish in life. Too many responsibilities. More importantly, there’s a compelling pull from my purpose. Rebuilding a life is a big, big job. Ain’t life a Grand Adventure?
You see, more than ever before I have deep and true compassion for the divorcee who’s starting over from apparent “scratch.” Also the business owner who’s lost what he put his entire life into building, the one who’s lost their reputation, their home and life savings…as well as many others apparent losses. I know how it feels and how difficult and frightening it can be. I’m right there with you my friend! Again… ain’t life a grand adventure?
The true paradox is that all loss brings corresponding gain. It cannot be otherwise. Something to ponder deeply.
Part of the next phase is the realization that you don’t want or need a vacation from life. That it’s all Life! Now don’t get me wrong… I am going to Paris, Cabo, Hawaii, South America and other places I love. For sure. Count on it. You should too. It’s just a matter of when. God willing I’ll go there and not only enjoy some time, sun, food and wine… but also simultaneously be allowed to touch people’s hearts and minds in a profound way at the same time.
You see, that’s my purpose—and I’m so crystal clear on my own innate abilities, and how and why to utilize them, that there’s no doubt whatsoever in my mind (at least not about that). What’s your unique purpose? Are you clear?
And the unequivocal fact is that my “scars” are going to help me live and do things even better, deeper, and wider than ever before. Yours can too. I’m learning to function. Are you? I’m finding my legs and voice once again after my long hiatus in the desert. Once again:
“Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”
~ Victor Hugo
You see, I’m truly grateful for the scars that life has brought me. Are you?
I’ve earned them; and so have you. Yes… mine even include the scars of prison. As I stated on Piers Morgan… I see the perfection in the entire experience in retrospect; and I now clearly realize that I HAD to go to prison. Yes, you read that right. There were things I learned there about myself and humanity that I could not (and would not), have ever learned anywhere else. It awakened me like never before. It pulled off so many layers of BS that I feel raw and open and alive and real.
Truly forgiving is the ability to say, ‘Thank you for-giving me that experience.’
All true forgiving ends in gratitude. No exception
Now please don’t get me wrong… I NEVER want to do it again. In fact, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemy… but I am truly grateful.
Life is not meant to be easy… it’s meant to be meaningful
You see… life is meant to be a Grand Adventure. Not some sniveling cushy hugging the shore type of existence. Please!
The uncomfortable fact is that we’re all going to physically die. Let that sink in. Read it again. Roll it over in your mind and think of all the implications it has on how you live today. While we all know this… we really don’t want to think about it, do we? (particularly in the West). The question is not “Will you die?” The question is “Did you really live?” Yet the paradox is that it’s all Life, even when it appears the exact opposite… it’s only a matter of how (more on that to come). Something to ponder.
Let’s let go of the idea that we can use some secret formula or sauce or pill to escape the often harsh realities of life and living (reference Life or Fantasy series; and the Alchemy series). The one who masters life—real life—is fraught with scars. And every single scar makes for a jolly good story of adventure, conquest, and being truly alive. For isn’t that how we truly grow and learn?
The fantasies of escape are part of the stage one mentality; and any thinking individual (which are often very rare), can see that it’s just pure romantic illusion. It’s like believing that we can breathe in and hold it without ever breathing out. Likewise we can hang on and never let go. The tricycle goes round and round but the view never changes… ring the bell. Ching ching.
I somewhat hesitate to sound like a scratched CD, but I also know that this romantic mindset is so insidious (and now prevalent worldwide) that it bears revisiting again and again. Repetition is the second law of learning and transformation.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many personal messages I get on Facebook like, “My girlfriend left me James, how can I use the LOA to bring her back?” Answer: “Work on yourself and tell her you love her and want her back. Become a better man. Focus on you. Love yourself first and foremost. If she wants you back she’ll come, if she doesn’t she has free will and it’s not meant to be. Sorry my friend, there is no magic to holding on, but life is magical. Maybe it’s time to let go. Relationships are not meant forever… they’re meant for growth. You’ll find another love if she is not right.” Much love, ~ JAR
Question: “I have four tests I have to take next week. How can I use the LOA to pass?” Answer: “Hold the vision that you’re going to ace them and then study your ass off—round the clock if that’s what it takes. All the while knowing “that you’ve got this.” Love every minute of it. Go knock it out of the park.” Much love ~ JAR
So I told you I’ve moved on… and some were frustrated (in a good way) that I didn’t tell you exactly what I’ve moved on to last week. I love it! You can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm.
I’d like to coin a new term that I believe to be more specialized and specific than the traditional broad brush personal and spiritual development. One that certainly resonates with me and possibly will with you as well.
But first let’s talk about some of the down-falls in my experience of the traditional approaches. Let’s summarize some of the things we’ve been jointly exploring over the last several weeks and months. There are always exceptions, but I submit that these are the rules. (God I love anticipation)…
- Traditional personal and spiritual development is generalized and broad brushed. Holding little to no value, and often not even considering, the unique talents and abilities of each individual.
- They are also most often steeped in fantasy… either implying, or overtly suggesting, that if you follow a certain methodology you can reach a point of nirvana where bees wont sting you, birds will land on your shoulders, and you’ll have no pain, challenges, difficulties, or loss. At the extreme pole of spirituality it’s about ascension and renunciation; and the extreme polarity of personal development is about acquisition and billions. Unbeknownst to each, they’re both the polar mirrors of each other (yin and yang); and each tends to attack the other. There are also many derivations and hybrids of each in between both poles.
- They most often are espoused by those who either channel discarnate entities, ascended masters, angels, guides, and dead people, strut their millions, promise you internet marketing billions, use the latest mind or brain technique that will magically make things easy, promise residual income for life with no work, eternal life, they are “chosen of God,” have special access to God, or suggest that they in some other way have a secret that others do not have. In other words, it’s about modeling external saviors, techniques and “follow me.”
- There is an often subtle but definite division between what’s considered spiritual and material, consciousness expanding and business expanding, God worship and Goddess worship, religion and science, heaven and earth. And those who espouse to each are typically dealing with suppression on the other side of the equation. And the more extreme to each pole the less the true understanding.
- Most all of them work to a point, but not for the reason we often believe. Then at some point the aspirant inevitably reaches a critical fulcrum where more of the same grows tired and just plain doesn’t work. At this point you either put the tricycle away and/or lose the training wheels… or you spend the rest of your days going round and round the driveway and wondering why the view never changes; and in fact… even ringing the little bell gets boring and dull. Ching ching.
I’ve stated it many times before… but it bears repeating because I know how this all might be potentially interpreted. I respect them all. There’s a time and a place for the tricycle, and then the bicycle with training wheels… but at some point it’s time to get on with the adventure of the real bike. Value the training wheels for what they have taught you… for without them you’d never have ridden at all. The same is true for the traditional approaches. Do you follow?
Every ladder we climb must always start on the first rung…
And that rung is almost always in the dirt.
If any of this makes even a fraction of sense to you… then maybe you’re ready to move into a new level that can be both frightening and incredibly exciting. But you have to be willing to start in the dirt.
If you haven’t discerned by now… I’ve coined this approach as “Innate Ability Development™” (IAD) which is obviously the name and focus of this series. Lest you think it’s just semantics… I can assure you with the utmost certainty that it’s much more than that.
Let me also assure you that it’s a specialized and focused approach to life that is much more individualized, and much more joyful and adventuresome, than the traditional approaches. I’ll also suggest that IAD will bring more true success with a greater propensity for truly living—please be your own judge.
Over the next several weeks I’ll begin laying out some of the specific qualities, tenants, and philosophies of this stage of living. Stay tuned. I appreciate you being here.
Stay awake and Love Life,