How Much Do You Really Know About Your Purpose?

“Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”

~ Victor Hugo

I was conducting a personal mentoring session recently (something I’m doing again now) and the young lady I was working with was on the tail end of a tough divorce (aren’t they all tough?), while simultaneously doing her best to figure out what to do with her home and how she was going to earn a living. As a single mom these were all very real issues.

At one point she said to me, “I just don’t know if I can do this. I’m tired; and I don’t think I’m healed from my divorce yet. I just need to take some time off.”

I took a deep breathe…

You see, as an effective mentor you don’t always give individuals what they want to hear. You with all care and true compassion do your best to give what they need to hear for growth and forward motion. The harmony between these two is an often difficult task.

The key words here are “with all care and true compassion do your best.” Once again remember that the word “passion” from the Latin translates as “suffering.” (reference the Alchemy series). True com-passion is “common suffering.” And you can’t truly have it unless you’ve been there done that. Are you with me?

I said to her, “You know I still have bad dreams about prison on a frequent basis. Obviously I’m not ‘healed’ in the traditional sense from the trauma of the last five years of my life,” I continued, “but true healing is completely differently than what most people believe. You don’t ever really heal if that means that it no longer exists or it’s invisible.”

I held out my left arm which has a long scar from elbow to wrist. This zipper like scar is constant physical reminder of a horrible head on collision I had while riding my Kawasaki Ninja back in the late 80’s. I had tangled head on with a car. The car won. I spent 4 weeks in intensive care. My forearm was shattered and I almost lost my left hand.

I finished, “You learn to integrate and function with the scars.”

True healing is integration and utilization… not eradication

The scars in our life give us character, experience, depth, and compassion. They give us galloping good stories to live and tell another day.  Remember all of Life is about more life… even when it appears to be the exact opposite. (reference the Alchemy series)

I went on to tell her how I fantasized the entire time while I was in prison how I was going to sweep up my sweetheart … and we were going to whisk away to Cabo or Hawaii upon my release… just kick our heals up and drink umbrella drinks in the sun. After all… “I needed time to heal… and by God I deserved it!” Didn’t I?

Haven’t done it; and I have no plans in the near future. There are too many things to accomplish in life. Too many responsibilities. More importantly, there’s a compelling pull from my purpose. Rebuilding a life is a big, big job. Ain’t life a Grand Adventure?

You see, more than ever before I have deep and true compassion for the divorcee who’s starting over from apparent “scratch.” Also the business owner who’s lost what he put his entire life into building, the one who’s lost their reputation, their home and life savings…as well as many others apparent losses. I know how it feels and how difficult and frightening it can be. I’m right there with you my friend! Again… ain’t life a grand adventure?

The true paradox is that all loss brings corresponding gain. It cannot be otherwise. Something to ponder deeply.

Part of the next phase is the realization that you don’t want or need a vacation from life. That it’s all Life! Now don’t get me wrong… I am going to Paris, Cabo, Hawaii, South America and other places I love. For sure. Count on it. You should too. It’s just a matter of when. God willing I’ll go there and not only enjoy some time, sun, food and wine… but also simultaneously be allowed to touch people’s hearts and minds in a profound way at the same time.

You see, that’s my purpose—and I’m so crystal clear on my own innate abilities, and how and why to utilize them, that there’s no doubt whatsoever in my mind (at least not about that).  What’s your unique purpose? Are you clear?

And the unequivocal fact is that my “scars” are going to help me live and do things even better, deeper, and wider than ever before. Yours can too. I’m learning to function. Are you? I’m finding my legs and voice once again after my long hiatus in the desert. Once again:

“Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come.”

~ Victor Hugo

You see, I’m truly grateful for the scars that life has brought me. Are you?

I’ve earned them; and so have you. Yes… mine even include the scars of prison. As I stated on Piers Morgan… I see the perfection in the entire experience in retrospect; and I now clearly realize that I HAD to go to prison. Yes, you read that right. There were things I learned there about myself and humanity that I could not (and would not), have ever learned anywhere else. It awakened me like never before. It pulled off so many layers of BS that I feel raw and open and alive and real.

Truly forgiving is the ability to say, ‘Thank you for-giving me that experience.’

All true forgiving ends in gratitude. No exception

Learn here how Leaders Act, Reward, Forgive and Move in this article.

Now please don’t get me wrong… I NEVER want to do it again. In fact, I wouldn’t wish it for my worst enemy… but I am truly grateful.

Life is not meant to be easy… it’s meant to be meaningful

You see… life is meant to be a Grand Adventure. Not some sniveling cushy hugging the shore type of existence. Please!

The uncomfortable fact is that we’re all going to physically die. Let that sink in. Read it again. Roll it over in your mind and think of all the implications it has on how you live today. While we all know this… we really don’t want to think about it, do we? (particularly in the West). The question is not “Will you die?” The question is “Did you really live?” Yet the paradox is that it’s all Life, even when it appears the exact opposite… it’s only a matter of how (more on that to come). Something to ponder.

Let’s let go of the idea that we can use some secret formula or sauce or pill to escape the often harsh realities of life and living (reference Life or Fantasy series; and the Alchemy series). The one who masters life—real life—is fraught with scars. And every single scar makes for a jolly good story of adventure, conquest, and being truly alive. For isn’t that how we truly grow and learn?

The fantasies of escape are part of the stage one mentality; and any thinking individual (which are often very rare), can see that it’s just pure romantic illusion. It’s like believing that we can breathe in and hold it without ever breathing out. Likewise we can hang on and never let go. The tricycle goes round and round but the view never changes… ring the bell. Ching ching.

I somewhat hesitate to sound like a scratched CD, but I also know that this romantic mindset is so insidious (and now prevalent worldwide) that it bears revisiting again and again. Repetition is the second law of learning and transformation.

I can’t even begin to tell you how many personal messages I get on Facebook like, “My girlfriend left me James, how can I use the LOA to bring her back?” Answer: “Work on yourself and tell her you love her and want her back. Become a better man. Focus on you. Love yourself first and foremost. If she wants you back she’ll come, if she doesn’t she has free will and it’s not meant to be. Sorry my friend, there is no magic to holding on, but life is magical. Maybe it’s time to let go. Relationships are not meant forever… they’re meant for growth. You’ll find another love if she is not right.” Much love, ~ JAR

Question: “I have four tests I have to take next week. How can I use the LOA to pass?” Answer: “Hold the vision that you’re going to ace them and then study your ass off—round the clock if that’s what it takes. All the while knowing “that you’ve got this.” Love every minute of it. Go knock it out of the park.” Much love ~ JAR

So I told you I’ve moved on… and some were frustrated (in a good way) that I didn’t tell you exactly what I’ve moved on to last week. I love it! You can’t buy that kind of enthusiasm.

I’d like to coin a new term that I believe to be more specialized and specific than the traditional broad brush personal and spiritual development. One that certainly resonates with me and possibly will with you as well.

But first let’s talk about some of the down-falls in my experience of the traditional approaches. Let’s summarize some of the things we’ve been jointly exploring over the last several weeks and months. There are always exceptions, but I submit that these are the rules. (God I love anticipation)…

  • Traditional personal and spiritual development is generalized and broad brushed. Holding little to no value, and often not even considering, the unique talents and abilities of each individual.
  • They are also most often steeped in fantasy… either implying, or overtly suggesting, that if you follow a certain methodology you can reach a point of nirvana where bees wont sting you, birds will land on your shoulders, and you’ll have no pain, challenges, difficulties, or loss. At the extreme pole of spirituality it’s about ascension and renunciation; and the extreme polarity of personal development is about acquisition and billions. Unbeknownst to each, they’re both the polar mirrors of each other (yin and yang); and each tends to attack the other. There are also many derivations and hybrids of each in between both poles.
  • They most often are espoused by those who either channel discarnate entities, ascended masters, angels, guides, and dead people, strut their millions, promise you internet marketing billions, use the latest mind or brain technique that will magically make things easy, promise residual income for life with no work, eternal life, they are “chosen of God,” have special access to God, or suggest that they in some other way have a secret that others do not have. In other words, it’s about modeling external saviors, techniques and “follow me.”
  • There is an often subtle but definite division between what’s considered spiritual and material, consciousness expanding and business expanding, God worship and Goddess worship, religion and science, heaven and earth. And those who espouse to each are typically dealing with suppression on the other side of the equation. And the more extreme to each pole the less the true understanding.
  • Most all of them work to a point, but not for the reason we often believe. Then at some point the aspirant inevitably reaches a critical fulcrum where more of the same grows tired and just plain doesn’t work. At this point you either put the tricycle away and/or lose the training wheels… or you spend the rest of your days going round and round the driveway and wondering why the view never changes; and in fact… even ringing the little bell gets boring and dull. Ching ching.

I’ve stated it many times before… but it bears repeating because I know how this all might be potentially interpreted. I respect them all. There’s a time and a place for the tricycle, and then the bicycle with training wheels… but at some point it’s time to get on with the adventure of the real bike. Value the training wheels for what they have taught you… for without them you’d never have ridden at all. The same is true for the traditional approaches. Do you follow?

Every ladder we climb must always start on the first rung…

And that rung is almost always in the dirt.

If any of this makes even a fraction of sense to you… then maybe you’re ready to move into a new level that can be both frightening and incredibly exciting. But you have to be willing to start in the dirt.

If you haven’t discerned by now… I’ve coined this approach as “Innate Ability Development™” (IAD) which is obviously the name and focus of this series. Lest you think it’s just semantics… I can assure you with the utmost certainty that it’s much more than that.

Let me also assure you that it’s a specialized and focused approach to life that is much more individualized, and much more joyful and adventuresome, than the traditional approaches. I’ll also suggest that IAD will bring more true success with a greater propensity for truly living—please be your own judge.

Over the next several weeks I’ll begin laying out some of the specific qualities, tenants, and philosophies of this stage of living. Stay tuned. I appreciate you being here.

Stay awake and Love Life,

james arthur ray



26 Responses

  1. Hi James,
    As usual your unique way of expressing concepts in written form is both educational and entertaining.
    What I am getting from today’s new blog is that just like in order to be able to choose, one needs to be aware of having a choice in the first place…(having said that some people still choose not to choose, and that itself is a choice). In order to be aware of one’s own unique purpose one has to be fully awake for long enough to be able to determine it.

    My unique purpose? “My Purpose is constantly evolving as The Purpose is to constantly evolve…”

    I am sorry to hear that you have still bad dreams, it is understandable due to the circumstances, but with time they should fade away and if they won’t fade away as quickly as you would like them to, I am sure that you are fully aware of some methodologies nowadays able to help a person completely eliminate any residual feelings of stress caused by traumatic experiences, however to my knowledge a method has not yet being devised that will completely eradicate the memories attached to traumatic experiences.

    I find it interesting to notice while observing people, that whether the suffering has been self inflicted or caused by third parties, many even if given the choice to release it, tend to resist given it up preferring to clutch on tightly to the pain and discomfort as an insurance policy hoping that it will prevent them from ever experiencing something similar again, they have somehow identified with the discomfort, it has become part of who they think they are, and that sense of identity could last for decades, even a lifetime, often impairing a person’s ability to fully grow and evolve.
    But if faced with such trying circumstance what is the student meant to do?
    Are you suggesting learning to first integrate those experiences then transmute the energies into more useful ones or to successfully use those past experiences as valid fuel in order to take oneself forward?

    Repetition is the mother of all skills is something I have frequently heard; you mention it as being the second law of learning, so what is the first law of learning and transformation according to your teachings?

    You are right loss can bring gains but only for those willing to look for them.

    One does not need to change one’s own aims nor shrink one’s own spiritual expectations, all that will be required is to perceive and do things differently this time.
    Will the phoenix rise again? You bet he will… he is already polishing his plumage !

    James, many tanks for your time and effort to share your knowledge.


    1. Thanks Linda… I don’t know of anything method that will eradicate a memory; and even if there was I’d have no use for it. For yes, transmuation not denial is the tool of mastery. We must learn to utilize our experiences not suppress or attempt to escape them. The first of learning and transformation is recognition… you will never learn and transform unless/until you recognize that it’s needed. Much love ~ JAR

  2. Hey James-

    Really like this post-especially the riding your bike in a circle in the driveway analogy. I could hear the chiming in my head. Made me smile.

    We’ve become such a magic pill society that it’s literally killing us. Always looking for the Pollyanna quick-fix. Nonsense. In my own development I’ve come to a point where I’m saying to myself, “I’ve heard this crap already! When do I start trusting myself?” I dump the bike in the driveway and instead full-sprint down the sidewalk, breathless the entire way. That’s FREEDOM.

    You’re right, my friend: it’s time for joy and adventure. To reveal our true brilliance. To be prepared to get sweaty and messy with our hands all up in life. I’m with you. Cheers!

  3. Ain’t life a Grand Adventure?

    The middle of February 1984 I had my ‘on the road to Emmaus’ and I met myself. Life before then was mostly if not entirely on autopilot and ever since me ‘believing’ mostly me ‘driving’ the vehicle. What I only recently discovered/rediscovered I made those first 30 odd years, at best, a ‘less than’ afterwards. I pretty much ignored the value and the lessons learned that brought me to February 1984. I also realized the mind, mine anyway, is only a passenger in the vehicle. Life is about making decisions and a few choices along the way. Listening to the rambling homogenized pabulum of the world’s minds is not where to look for deciding what to do. The mind will make up the story afterward. Do not let it choose the path.

    I cannot remember how often I heard, ‘You can’t lead where you won’t go and you can’t teach what you don’t know.’

    One path I entered was I won’t be a leader or a teacher then…. AND all roads lead to Rome…. If you are off your path, the level of pain and suffering either stops you or if you allow it to guide you, puts you back on your path.

    All true forgiving ends in gratitude. No exception

    I love the sound of IAD! Words and beliefs created from words are always and all ways a ‘lie’. The truth is an experience first; we then look to find words to share that past with others. Words point to something that was and can allow an opening for someone else to find their way to the ‘narrow gate’ as well. Time to channel a poet…

    To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting. – e. e. cummings

    Ain’t life a Grand Adventure?
    Thank you James for being part of mine.

  4. Thanks J.A.R
    Looking forward…

  5. I believe that not only am I grateful for the scars, the adoption, the lost child, the broken marriages/relationships, I love the ones who have helped me get them and helped me see that I had to live my life, the way I have, on purpose. And yes I still look forward to More of the Grand Adventure called life.

  6. I will not love life ever as it is.
    You would have to be insane to do that,
    Life is unfair at times and I refuse to love that once.
    I learn from life,yet I do not love life,yet I do love being alive,yet life no.

    1. Harry, I’m truly sorry to hear that my friend. How well is not loving life working for you in joy, peace and fulfillment? Maybe you might consider a different strategy. Nothing can be impacted by hatred except your own fulfillment. Something to ponder. ~ JAR

  7. Perfect reading today! I’ve missed some posts for various reasons but this one makes me want to go back & catch up. Thank you.

  8. Hi JAR,

    Good to see new topic coming. Will be pleased to follow the series.

    Best Regards,

  9. JAMES,

    I deeply appreciate your boldness to face rough facts and use even the scars and try to help people.

  10. Love this post. I’m learning that it’s more about the experience and letting go of crutches(from beliefs to teachings), including any hopes. This vulnerability is what life keeps pushing us to because there is great power in it for our lives and for others but we escape it, by distracting ourselves by making more money, getting things for approval, depending on external personal and spiritual development and even achieving. Making money, personal and spiritual development and achievements are important to our growth, but to use it as crutch and escape our vulnerability and humility will crash onto you. In the end its about experience of our vulnerability because i feel that’s where we truly find our true selves and we naturally start living to what feels right to us, rather than for the approval and the applause of others, without the use of external “crutches”.

      1. “Life truly begins when we lose all hope.” – i agree! I finally understand when the movie “fight club” says “loosing all hope was freedom”

  11. Hi James,
    It goes withut saying that the message I have just sent you is not blog matertial.

    Today,HaveThe Best Day Ever ! ((And make tomorrow and each day after that
    The Best Day Ever too)).

    Linda 🙂

    1. Linda, my intuition tells me “you’re okay” thanks for sharing. Keep the faith… the planet is shifting. Much love ~ JAR

      1. Yes, I trust that all the heavenly bodies including The Stars, The Moon and
        The Sun
        are currently ” shifting” of their own accord, at their own pace, and in their own unique ways… which is perfection!
        Thanks, James.


    2. “Life truly begins when we lose all hope.” -i think you should make that a motivational quote by you 🙂

  12. James, I too am grateful for all the scars in my life. Yes, going through the times that created the scars was tough, but after the fact and looking back, they are what was best for me. Like you mentioned about you HAD to go to prison. That is what was best for you at that time. The Grand Plan!! I understand this. I look forward to your next entry.

  13. Thank you James! what a lesson!! To look at our own medals is important but to look at our own scars it’s even a better way to measure your success in life. Thank you for today’s lesson once more.

    Do you think those dreams will fade away once your experience in prison is completely learned? Or will we reach a point where it just becomes a part of us and it doesn’t hurt us any more?

    I hope my scars will give me the strength to go up to the next level.

    A big hug James!

    1. Hector, thanks my friend! My experience is that yes, bad dreams go away once all things are integrated. Sometimes we think things are fully integrated and then realize that they’re not. I realize frequently that my “painful” experiences in life often rear their ugly head as pain versus progress. I now know this is a signal for me to continue to grow. Much love my friend. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  14. James,
    So serendipitous! I just finished writing a paper for school about healing from mental illness. In it I explained how the experiences while “sick” can be used to strengthen the person so that they will not succumb to the same portions of the illness. Much like a broken bone that heals is much harder to break in the same spot again due to the build up of extra bone matter. A scar is the body’s way of making it harder to “harm” it in the same manner as before because the skin is much tougher & thicker there.
    I, too, value my tough times and would not give them up. I am so much stronger than before. I will enjoy the new series you will be putting out.

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