Do You Love Life or Fantasy: 7

The lover of fantasy wants to pretend he “never has a bad day,” act like everything is all roses with no thorns, instead of being honest and human. These people are plastic, inhuman, lacking in compassion, and disconnected from the heart.

These individuals are most often the boiling cauldrons just waiting to explode.

Frankly, unless they change their strategy they’re never even going to come close to their potential. Most of them as so disconnected and dissociated from their primal and most basic human energies that they’re completely asleep.

According to the tradition, even Jesus, what many call the “perfected man,” cried and anguished in fear of what was to come in the garden of Gethsemane. Earlier he picked up a whip in a rage and beat fellow human beings out of the temple (that’s pretty extreme). And he cried and felt forsaken and abandoned on the cross. Sure seems like normal human emotions to me.

How do the traditional rationalize that one? How is it that we are so conditioned to believe that those emotions are “negative,” unspiritual, and unacceptable? Just maybe “human perfection” is not what we’ve been conditioned to believe.

The fact is there’s a tremendous amount of power in the lower vibratory emotions. In fact, it’s the power that creates worlds; and unless we fully acknowledge them and utilize them, as we discussed last time, they work on us versus for us.

This a very complex topic to say the least, but the simple answer here is that to transmute these energies we have to first acknowledge them, appreciate that they have a place, and allow them the space to do their job.

Everything that has no value in this Universe has become extinct.

If it’s still here it must have a purpose.

When I was sitting in my cell with literally nowhere to go, I had to learn to meditate (I now prefer the term contemplate) as my anger, rage, frustration, fear. Not on it… but as it. Get the difference?

Contemplating as it… is not just a process of thinking about it… it’s owning and  being it. Vast difference.

Please be clear… I’m not suggesting that transmutation is necessarily acting upon these emotions in their rawest of form… I’m suggesting that it’s integrating and harnessing them. Again, big difference.

Anything that is given its attention and acknowledgement will eventually dissipate and integrate for the good of the whole. Please contemplate that long and hard.

Remember we discussed last time that nothing in the temporal realm lasts. Nothing—neither pleasure nor pain; loss or gain.

This lack of acknowledgement is where traditional personal and spiritual development totally misses the mark in my opinion. Attempting to reframe our thoughts and feelings too quickly and “be positive” leads to suppression and fragmentation versus wholeness.

When we are whole we have tremendous power… the power to move mountains. We have this power because all the attributes within us are moving in the same direction; and for the common purpose of the whole. Do you follow?

Once we have the “entire team” working together within us we can literally access and utilize the power of Universal Intelligence and Universal Will.

“In the entire Universe there is only one Mind.”

– David Bohm (quantum theorist; peer and colleague of Einstein)

Just consider… maybe it’s the challenges, difficulties and austerities in life that bring these awesome powers to the fore; and therefore these things are possibly the greatest gifts of all.

I sincerely hope that you now at least have a beginning awareness of what I mean when I talk about “Life versus Fantasy.” If you’re still in doubt please go back and re-read this series.

Click here to proceed to the first part of the series.Do You Love Life or Fantasy?

The simple answer is that Life is often difficult, hard and painful; full of doubt and uncertainty and fear—accept it, embrace it, utilize it.

Fantasy believes that we can eventually read the right book, learn the Secret, attend the right seminar, study with the right guru, meditate, chant, circumambulate and pray, learn the latest technique; and when we do life will be all roses with no thorns. We’ll be fearless and constantly confident.

Won’t happen… until you’re no longer human.

You, like me, know that every single rose has both a blossom and a thorn. No exception. And true wisdom knows the thorns are there for a reason.

Next week we’ll take what we’ve discussed and dive more deeply into transmutation and the keys of true Alchemy. Thanks for being here.

Stay awake and Love Life

james arthur ray



46 Responses

  1. Thank you for sharing your work. In this last post in particular, the words and thoughts felt truly right for me. As if I knew the rightness of this teaching in my head before, but this time I felt it as a rush in my heart, in my body.

  2. James, I always heard that “the proof is in the puddin’. You are the puddin’. Being forged in the fire of life has made you stronger and better. I really enjoy the work you’re producing and look forward to each new nugget. Forward!! ET

    1. Eunice, the hottest fires and the coldest ice make the strongest of swords. Thanks for your kind and loving words ~ JAR

  3. Blessings. Thru my own set of circumstances and freedom from imprisonment of my MIND, I have come to a similar or same places as you, and it is so comforting to have a partner that is not running from the human experience, with a slapped on overlay of optimism. Years ago in 1975 Werner Erhard told us all that there was no “hope” for things to get better because the very need for “hope” is an attempt to eradicate the unwanted things in Life, thereby making them persist and keep you in the struggle mode. For me my life is transmuting ITSELF as I remind myself to stop resisting what’s so and just experience it, it then organically changes itself to what it needs next, and if I am conscious, I am lucky enough to travel along as the observer. When I go unconscious, I feel like I am in a vise. So then I get to feel the feeling of being “gripped” and it releases in its own time to what’s organically next for me. For me its about remembering to identify and SAVOR all experience, thereby releasing it to transform itself to what’s next, etc. etc. and the beat goes on! Thank you for being my Muse and helping me recognize where I am at. I love your sharings … they are basically my own!

    1. Barbara… thanks for being my partner =) Yes you are correct. Contrary to popular belief a place of “no hope” is a very powerful place to be. I believe this is what Erhard was referring to. Hope is a longing versus and accepting what is and realizing it’s exactly as it should be. Isn’t it interesting that Salvation and Softening come from suffering. ~ JAR

  4. Excellent addition to the series James. I wonder what the best (beneficial) way to use our negative feelings is. When we are angry – I agree, we should ‘feel’ and validate the anger. But depending on what is causing the anger we must decide to move past it or use it. What is the mechanism for deciding which? I guess the answer lies in awareness. Awareness of the ‘why’. Why we are angry in this or that situation, Why we are feeling less confident, more doubtful etc. We must investigate the meanings each time. Do you agree?

    1. Stuart, there’s a time and a place to use feelings (I wouldn’t call any of them “negative” accept when used in the wrong context). We only move past it by embracing, acknowledging and allowing it to be (not acting on it… just being with it) What you will find is that when it’s given it’s respect and space (versus fought, suppressed and denied) it will settle down and pass. More on utilization to come. ~ JAR

      1. Hi James, yes all feelings are valid. I use the term ‘negative’ to describe those feeling we don’t like. I look forward to your post on utilization. 🙂

        1. Stuart, with all due respect, herein lies the problem. What has to happen for you to recognize and realize that everything has a purpose? Even the so called “negative” feelings? In my experience the ONLY thing that’s truly negative is that which resists growth. Is a pile of excrement negative? Depends on how you see it. Someone decided it was great for fertilizer and therefor positive. Something to ponder ~ JAR

  5. Thank you James for this series, it has clarified many questions in my mind. I have learned over the many years that being “false” positive does not serve me. Sitting with the energy of what is is serving me. The rose has many more thorns than blossoms and to smell the perfume of the rose I have to get past those thorns. As my 75th year approaches in this physical body I am learning each day that it is a blessing no matter what transpires – what I at the time look at it as “good” or “bad” – it just is. As it unfolds, I see more clearly who I am. This realization has only come to me in the last few years and I am at peace with it. Thank you,

    1. Wayne my dear friend. Yes, yes I know the feeling. I too have come to a place where I realize that a “painful” day of Life is better than no Life at all. When we reach this point we can acknowledge what is, and realize that everything serves a Divine Purpose and is part of the Grand Adventure. Thanks for being here and thanks for your ongoing love and support ~ JAR

  6. James,

    Thank you so much for this series. Your writing is deeply profound and thought provoking. I think that you truly address what it is to be human and what the human experience essentially is… and “what is so.” But yet we try to change the things that we perceive as negative without the understanding that they exist in the realm for a reason… and only through this acknowledgement and acceptance of the negative in the equation ….can we be truly whole and complete.

  7. Hi James, just wanted to let you know that I realy appreciate your blogposts.

    Keep them comming – Wishing you well,


  8. Hello everyone! I have worked as a social worker for many years now, and have observed that resentment (the boiling cauldron) fuels so much destruction in our lives, primarily addictions. Most times it seems that people want to have someone bear witness to their emotions and not judge them for it. It has taken me so many years to realize that it is not my job to “fix” someone who is struggling; rather, to walk with them through the confusion of intense struggles. That has involved me getting my own ego in check. Afterward, with their permission I will reflect to them what I see in them spiritually and existentially. In those moments, even though feelings are intense, I sense an incredible calm in our space and the vibration in the room literally rises. We seem to have a sense of embodiment that it truly human and precious. I think we all, including myself, have difficulty knowing how to truly support one another as we have often not been taught to do these things in a way that is meaningful to others. Thank you for reading!

  9. This last week I have been looking at what stops me. My usual method is to ignore, resist, deny or label with procrastination or some other method to deflect being with it. There must be a way to use it for my and everyone’s advantage, especially given what stops me has been doing it long before I appeared here. It isn’t my job to make it extinct either, even if I could. That is what some of my searches and inquiry have been really about.

    I know that whatever I let be will let me be. AND I now am interesting in allowing it to motivate me, empower me and or strengthen me instead. I have not practiced or looked for courage often enough.

    Courage is not simply one of the virtues, but the form of every virtue at the testing point. – C. S. Lewis

  10. James, you’re speakin’ my language. I have been saying these things for years, albeit, a bit more indelicately. In my book, “Lessons Learned: from Battered to Bliss,” my first lesson and number one axiom of life is: “If you don’t deal with your sh _ _, it will deal with you.” I have always been mistrustful of “happy, clappy” people – those who seem to be in denial about life’s tribulations. I also felt this was the biggest message missing from “The Secret.”

    When we move forward into a greater expression of freedom, life and self-ownership, our sh_ _ will come up for clearing. If we don’t do the work to clear and clean, we will constantly be held back or tripped up by our repressed/suppressed “schtuff.”

    Thanks for keepin’ it real! All the best, Karen Irene

    1. Karen, thanks and I agree. One things I’ll add is that anything that’s given a voice and allowed it’s space will clear like mist in the noonday sun. All things are temporary. ~ JAR

    1. Terry… “on it” is thinking about it and analyzing it. “As it” is feeling it, letting it run it’s course and letting it be. I promise while the former leads to suppression… the latter leads to freedom for it will pass. ~ JAR

  11. Hi James,

    Thanks for your insight and wisdom here, it is real, and I appreciate that. My family and I for over a year now have been going through a difficult time. One moment I am trying to think and forgive those in the situation and then the next I want those causing my family harm to be punished, fall off the face of the earth, ect. Then a little voice says to me that’s negative not love and light and i beat myself up feeling guilty, even though whats been happening is so wrong. Anyways glad to see you back and sharing your experience and wisdom, thank you!

    1. Kathleen… what you describe is very much a part of the human experience. Like St. Paul stated, “The flesh pulls against the spirit and the spirit pulls against the flesh.” I too have felt this push/pull in my life (as have many others). True negativity is not what we’ve been conditioned to believe in my experience. True negativity is resistance to growth. To notice the back and forth in your own experience is growth. For the more you notice it. and allow yourself to be human, no judgement, no suppression, the less and less you will identify with the temporary rise and fall of your emotions. Much love and strength to you Kathleen… you’re growing and you’re in the same boat we’re all in. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  12. LOVED IT!!! It clears a lot of self doubt on a darker side of my feelings that I have been trying so hard to suppress due to the fact that I could not accept they were there, I was ashamed of them!! Now I understand!! I feel RELIEVED after reading this! Thank you James!!

  13. “Pseudo-mysticism seeks to evade reality; authentic mysticism lives it.”
    -Vernon Howard

    1. Peter, thanks. Love this and love Vernon Howard. Read this years ago and it means so much more to me now then it did the first time I read it. Live and Love Life ~ JAR

  14. Hi James,

    Long time ago like 2006 i had some loss in my life which was hard for me, i was searching for so long for answers but none was found. Look at secret and a lot of self improvement – all seem to fail at some point. I traveled a long way since then, and what i have found is that you may find yourself in situation out of your control and that giving up control is as strange is it sounds the time when you have most of control. I found emotions that people say that are negative but truth is that they are not – we only fear of what people say if we show them – as some kind of weakness. But we are more powerful when we show all of them – but only to the right kind of people. You are right that life is full with everything pain, fear, let’s say unpleasant stuff but there is also joy and happiness the good stuff. And nothing lasts forever. I am now in a ugly situation – but i thrive in it – i know it won’t last forever but it is still f…. hard. I have no control, i only have to wait and have patience, stay calm, but this is harder to do then said. There is much to say, but in the end when in trouble all we need is to find a way to cope with that situation until will change – because it will sooner or later. For some that way is acceptance, for some may be focusing on something else. A friend once said to me “whatever get you through it!”, so if pretending that something (pain) isn’t there may not work for me and you, it may work for others (surely they feel it deep inside)

    1. B… it’s a pleasure to know you; and I feel a kinship with your experience that very very few have. I now believe that the only thing that is truly “negative” is being resistant to that which causes growth. For development, advancement and growth are the entirety of the Universe. Furthermore, the greatest level of control is fully giving up control. When I finally gave up hope and surrendered to Life as it was my salvation began. I think you’ll understand. Much love and power to you my friend. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  15. Thank you James, this has been a very interesting series. I believe it arrived at the right time for some reason.

    I just wrote a blog about the external factors influencing our own evolution and reading your blog has allowed me to reflect on the importance of letting every feeling, emotion, situation, people and lesson totally be.

    But I must confess it has been very difficult and it hurts a lot. Nevertheless I am doing my best to observe it and I hope you can expend a little more on the way to use them so we can release them, and how to survive in the process. Lol. 😀

    Thank you James for opening your heart to us so sincerely.

    1. Hector… yes is does hurt. Sometimes a LOT. But what hurts worse, pulling a band aid off a sore one hair at a time and prolonging the pain? Or just pulling it quickly and letting it go? Thanks so much for being here and more on utilization to come ~ JAR

  16. Okay James, I read all-at-once the Fantasy vs Lover of Life bit. Now to keep it short, i felt only terrors in my body reading the blogs, my mind are numb, my observer part of me just allowed me to read it all vs asking you questions witin each blog. Now, I dont know what to write. But I can tell you what I did like….any parts that express how transmutation is the tool of mastery, one that will allow my feet to get grounded deep and tall, and it feels whole. Sorry if I don’t want pain however wholeness feels better. Here is the thing even though it is human nature to be so dense we learn and grow through pain, how about exploring growing through pleasure. Is that possible? At all? & we are evolving to be more than human while alive…..this spiritual human being bit. so while most of us dont know what it sounds like, feel like to be that..isnt that what most of us have been working on for a long time? So, while being positive isnt necessarily deep….the dvine has our back keeping us in the middle from the contrast of two extreme. humans are dense and dark, light beings are light and love….what is in the middle?…we shall find out, after 2012 and all. Heck, im a dreamer…I do fantasize a lot…but a lover of life…more than I thought. Other than that…not sure with any of this…but my spirit/divine leads me here. All the best. 🙂 S.L

    1. Silvia, who says we’re evolving to be “more than humans while alive?” How can you be so sure? If that were the case why did we waste our time in even coming here? And what does that mean anyway? Something to ponder ~ JAR

  17. Hi James …
    Thank you for being willing to show up in open rawness and share the truth of your journey as it happens. Its honest and real and so very welcomed. As a society/culture so many have become so conditioned to be ‘politically correct’ and to the point that they can’t even call an ace an ace, and, to show emotional truth that might be determined negative might get them labeled something that they are not. In reading this series, I have learned that I had become one of them, especially scared of anger because then I might not be a good person. Thank you for giving me permission to be angry or any other negative emotion. Thank you for being your journey and for caring enough to share it with us. Barbara

    1. Thanks Barbara, I’m so happy to hear that there are people out there, like you and me, who are ready to be completely honest with themselves and others. You’re right. We’ve been conditioned to keep up the facade (particularly as teachers) and always act like things are rosy. This is not healthy, it denies our humanity and it disconnects us from others. “If I think or feel “negative” I’ll attract more negative things.” Nothing in my experience could be more truly negative than denial. Suppression leave the toxin inside versus releasing it. I say better out than in. When we learn to feel our anger and allow it to have a voice, we then realize it has a purpose and we can utilize it to our advantage versus detriment. More on this to come. Stay tuned. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  18. Thanks James!

    As human beings we are more capable than before looking at the evolutionary scale and how we have progressed. So what may look ‘super human’…is just being human having those *super* then. So perhaps it is this idea what it means to be human is limiting then? It may also include that to be human is always about suffering and that change is always hard & etc? As visionary the fantasy does become real…however there is that bit with divine will and order, and so in the meantime get grounded and live more concrete and real? Silvia

    1. Silvia… Now I believe you’re on the right track. If we weren’t meant to be fully human we would not have come here. In your flaws you find your humanity; and this is Divine. If we were all “vanilla OM” and identical, how boring and worthless would the world be? There’s a really old movie called the ‘Stepford Wives” (sp?) you should check it out. Also, “Pleasantville” It’s the diversity and the ups and downs that bring color to Life. Finally, pain is a part of life… struggle is the resistance to pain. We can never rid ourselves of pain but we can diminish struggle through surrender. Something to ponder. ~ JAR

      1. Hi James,
        I’m not sure why I don’t agree with you 100% but perhaps this what makes us different…diverse, that whole how each snowflake may look the same…yet it isn’t. It is unique in its own universal flake. BTW, in oneness university sri amma bahagavan talks about the ‘what is’. In flowering the heart and freeing from the mind, the pain are there but seen and experienced differently. It is really a whole different ballgame I feel, beyond the polarity bit. Perhaps to keep this under the context of fantasty vs real life that perhaps it is where the fantasy becomes real life…somehow. lol

  19. James,

    As always, you leave me with much to think about. Trust me, I ‘get’ what you are writing, but like most times, it hits close to home. That’s when I know I have much to think about, look at and then take action on. Just as the materials in “The Science of Success” made me think long and hard (but which helped me grow more than I can explain to people), I know that what you are writing now is of the same importance.

    I’ll work on it.


    Because I trust you.

    1. Thanks Michael, I truly appreciate it and I (as always) will remind you that what you are trusting is your own internal voice and impulses. When we hear something of Truth that we’re prepared to hear it resonates with that place of like vibration/resonance within us. Thanks for being here ~ JAR

  20. I’m so excited that you are back is full swing and full of the something I’ve been missing. You are focused and going head-on. Love it…

  21. Another beautiful piece of writing, James, and as always, thought provoking. I wonder how many will revisit this, or even come in late as I have. Some may, but even if they don’t, I would like to say a few things, even if just for you James.

    It seems to me that people may be missing the point here a little in these blogs, although I do believe they are all making us THINK, and I do believe that is your intention, JAR. They’re (we’re) trying to grab hold of something, but for most of us I think , it continues to slip through our fingers as fine sand does, just to be scooped up again and again. I don’t remember you (JAR) ever saying that we SHOULD feel anger, pain, frustration, all these things – these “socially negative” things – or FOCUS on them, but rather, that if we DO feel these things we should feel them FULLY, and experience them for what they are, and for what they are worth. And then move forward. I do agree that “pain” makes us grow, because pain stands up to fight the resistance. Instead of running away or cowering, it runs out into the open arena where it may be hit in the face, but at least if it does it meets its opponent head on, looks it in the eyes, and stands on even ground, where it can strike back. I think that’s what you’re talking about James, fighting back. Now that I’ve begun to wake up, those people whimpering and whining in the shadows with their excuses, seem to nauseate me even more, because I know that they are looking away from their own Divine Nature, which wants them to grow and stretch, and become more. But you can’t become more if you stay where you are. Isn’t it better to come out into the light and be seen, even if that may include being seen by your enemies or those who might want to strike you down? So be it if they win! Better to be beaten by your enemy than by yourself. At least then you can say you’ve put up a good fight. And let me say, I don’t believe I’m better than any of those groveling souls; I’ve been one of them. We’ve all been one of them. And we don’t like to see our own ugliness. Certainly, I don’t. But then again, looking at it, and seeing it for what it is and what we may have been, can help us to change. That’s where the transformation occurs. To look at the ugliness in ourselves (and others) and, instead of complaining about it, or making excuses for it, to use it as a driving force to give us the energy and momentum to stand up and get moving, to stand up and DO SOMETHING about it. TO STAND UP AND LIVE LIFE!!! To look in the mirror and say, wow, how did my arms (or whatever – I think I’m stuck on arms right now ;} ) get like that. And, instead of being self-deprecating, instead of saying, I hate myself, say, wow! I really have a chance to make myself better here! I CAN IMPROVE! What a good feeling that is! That’s exhilarating! That’s exciting! That’s what being positive truly is! Sitting in the shade won’t give you that! You’ve got to get out in the sun and play ball!

    The Universe wants us to do well. The Universe wants us to EXPAND – just as it does, because in reality we ARE the Universe.

    So…maybe the “positive energy seekers” would put me down for using a word like “fight,” and I do get the point. We should all strive to reach a “better” place. But who can’t say life is a struggle? Anybody who’s lived at all knows that. And who can’t agree that conflict often brings us to a better place in the end, even though it may not seem it in the heat of the moment. Here’s one example. Remember (I think we all can), when you were young, maybe high school or college, and everything was going great with your boy or girlfriend…all peachy and lovey dovey. 🙂 And then BOOM…a big, all out, drag out fight! Ok… you think life’s over, and you scream, and you cry, and you wail…. And then you come back around. You come full circle. And then…you come to a new understanding. And you find that you now know things about each other (and your situation – and yourselves) that you never would have if you hadn’t rocked the boat. I like rocking the boat, personally! It’s just in my nature I suppose. Life would be dull if the waters we drift upon were always smooth.
    But about that point I think we may be missing….. I could be wrong, but I don’t think, James, that you’re telling anyone NOT to be “positive” in the true sense of the word, or not to take all the beautiful, fascinating, exhilarating, and vibrant things of life, and to experience them ALL FULLY. Quite the contrary! I think that’s what they are missing. Accepting the trials in life does not mean not accepting the joys. It means living the joys more fully, and in a healthier and more robust way! I have little doubt, after what you have been through James, that you, of all people do not strive to be happy. And who wouldn’t? Who doesn’t want joy?
    But you can’t have the joy if you don’t know what sorrow is. There has to be both. And we need to acknowledge both. As I type (in this middle of the night, this time I now steal), my arms hurt from the weights they are so not used to lifting. The pain feels good, because I know where that little bit of discomfort is leading me. And I like it, because I know my muscles are growing. If we can all look in the mirror (literally and figuratively) and take a real honest look at ourselves, not in a judging way, but in an objective, growth-provoking way, then we can move past the self-blame, or excuses, or worthless self-criticism, and move into a positive frame of mind so that we can grow. And THAT positive frame of mind doesn’t try to make it a sunny day when it is not (I happen to love the rain myself), but instead to forge ahead with a driving power that MOVES US, regardless of the weather. That is what truly being positive is about. In my opinion. I could be wrong, because in actuality I know very little. But…I am trying to learn more all the time, and to grow, and to be awake and ALIVE! And I thank you James for bringing me along for the ride. Until next time… <3

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