Do You Love Life or Fantasy: 6

One of the reasons we’re so often afraid to let our true feelings express, is that we erroneously think they’re going to overrun us; and completely take us over. Subsequently we’ll sink into an abyss that we’ll never get out of—never more to see the light of day. Nothing could be further from the truth.

You see, every single thing in the temporal realm (time bound, similar root to temporary) is just that—temporary. Regardless of whether it’s perceived as good or bad, it makes no difference, it won’t last. Let’s face it.

We’ve talked about two steps to Loving Real Life thus far. Seeing things clearly: a nail is a nail, it’s not candy; and…

Feeling what arises from a realistic observation without judgment, suppression or denial. Truth be told it takes true courage to admit and embrace your own demons (we all have them), but in the ancient Alchemical Keys of Solomon we’re taught that once we acknowledge and embrace our demons we can put them to use for us.

Leaders acknowledge their feelings and emotions and transmute them into power. Click here to learn more.

Wasn’t it Napoleon Hill way back in the 50’s who found that successful business men of his day practiced what he called, “transmutation of sexual energies?” Certainly this works for women and their own primal drives as well.

There’s a tremendous amount of power in our most primal energies; and I submit that when we deny or suppress them, it’s like attempting to stuff a scared cat into a small box (in some cases it may be an angry tiger). Please don’t try that one.

If you’re successful (which is definitely questionable), the cat will only go kicking, screaming, biting and scratching; and you’re most likely going to get really messed up in the process.

I remember as a child observing a dog chasing a cat. As it ran by me, I heroically snatched it up to protect it from the dog that was quickly closing the gap. I had the best intentions, but when the dog started jumping up on my leg and barking to get to the cat, I got completely shredded. (I think I’m still scarred from that one by the way; and I don’t think I’ve ever picked up a cat since). I apologize to cat lovers, it is what it is.

The point, primal energies are powerful; and they are what they are. We either put them to work for us… or they will work on us. Do you follow?

You’ll never put them to work for you as long as you attempt to deny and suppress them. In other words, stuff them down in the box inside yourself and slap a smiley face on. Also often known as traditional “positive thinking.”

Properly understood what we’re talking about here is true Alchemy; and the true keys of Solomon the King.

Maybe it’ll make more sense now as I suggest once again that :

Transmutation, not denial , is the tool of mastery.

We’ll talk about transmutation as well as the third step next time.

Stay awake and Love Life


james arthur ray

James Arthur Ray

20 Responses

  1. This is so, so true. I think what you talk about in a nutshell is acceptance. And the “nail is a nail” bit is like Tony Robbins “seeing things the way they are, not worse or better than they are”. When we accept our circumstances AND our feelings, actually allow them to be, we actually get more clarity about what we want to do next. The next step is to question. Ask what is causing our circumstances. Ask what it means to be feeling a certain way. This can lead to much greater understanding. Accept, validate, question. This 3 step process gives you back control – of YOU. Loving the new you James, keep it coming. 🙂

  2. I don’t know what transmutation is. Transformation is going from caterpillar to butterfly. Transmutation as a synonym seems meaningless unless the change implied is different. I would like to learn how to take what currently stops me and use it instead to move me. There is a ‘gap’ which when it is closed is nearly invisible but when present is often filled with all the stuff that stops me. Knowing what to do and not doing it is a ‘gap’ I need to resolve. Close it and I am off to the races. However, filling it seems my normal mode. Sometimes I close it quickly and other times, even using what worked yesterday only fills the gap. Inspiration loses its fire! Lighting the fuse in the rainstorm of my mind should not be so tenuous.

    1. Michael, what you describe is part of the human experience; and yes it is often tenuous for us all. Read St. Paul when he said, “The things I should do I don’t do and the things I shouldn’t to I do.” (paraphrased). The Spirit pulls against the flesh and the flesh against the Spirit. Transmutation is defined as: the action of changing or the state of being changed into another form. Very similar to trans-form-ation (to rise above the current form). Transmutation is a term often used in Alchemy which I prefer because it’s not so over used and misinterpreted. The true Alchemy is turning the metal of material form into the gold of Spiritual awakening. And this is the process we’re exploring. I will tell you that one of the primary tools utilized in all spiritual and material and business and all other achievement is “utilization.” More on the is to come. Thanks for being here. ~ JAR

  3. Hi James

    Very good blog. I recall learning that redirecting sexual energies to goals and personal development truly transforms you. My question is how does one go about doing that? Should I visualize my goals and sexually energize them?



    1. David, now that’s a whole topic in-and-of itself. One quick tip coming from a mans perspective. Remember when we used to always think with our loins as a young chap? And then hopefully at some point we begin to realize that this strategy will only cause problems and pain. It’s the pain that is the purifier in most if not all cases. When we take a certain strategy to it’s end we can easily replace it and/or transmute it. I hope this helps, you might consider a good study of the Tantric Buddhist traditions for more detail. ~ JAR

  4. So, reading this, I can only understand where my physical baggage comes from. So many times I have worked (REALLY hard, too, like getting ready to go to Peru) at losing weight, only for it to reappear bigger, more tenacious than ever. The root cause that I suppress is still here. Thank you for introducing me to the way out of the vicious cycle.
    Standing back, I have “just noticed” the unhealthy relationship at the center of my life. As I write this, I am setting up my escape from the situation. And, of course I have several really great friends that are supporting me in the effort. The happy face I’ve always hid behind is like a band-aid on a broken and crushed bone.
    It took your strength in communicating with me through your vicious and spiteful trial to slap me awake. I appreciate all you do, peace be with you always. You don’t even know what your example has done for me.

    1. Rennette, WOW, thanks for your courage. Yes the smile can come but it’s a different smile when we first see and feel clearly (but frowns are human and okay sometimes too) Much love ~ JAR

  5. Another great post, thank you James. I was locked (my own decision) into a bad relationship for 10 years and every time the need to leave arose (the cat clawing its way out of the box) I would stuff it back down and just get on with my miserable life. This went on for seven long years until I finally let the cat free and moved out. That was 10 years ago and I have never looked back since. When the cat is clawing (love that analogy 🙂 its time to listen inwardly, to assess and make decisions. I now listen to that cat and when its talons begin to dig I take action.

    1. Nice analogy John… I STILL don’t like cats though. Give me a dog any day =). Congratulations on your courage and your awakening. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  6. Beautiful post James! As I was reading, it reminded me of an incident involving a hawk and a mother and baby bird, a few summers ago after I bought my new house. My house has a nice deck on the back, overlooking the back yard loaded with big trees. Just to give you an idea my house is neither in the city or full in the country, but has wild life.
    One weekend, after I found a nice wicker patio set, I invited my 3 teenage daughters to sit out with me which they did ( a miracle in itself!.lol) It was a warm, summer day with a few clouds and a nice, slight, breeze. I think this was the first day I actually sat down after moving and unpacking!
    Anyway, we sat there talking for a while, (well, really them picking on each other), and out of the blue, a hawk swoops down in front of us, then swoops up into the tree above. It was a magnificent sight to see a hawk fly so close to us! Then another smaller bird flies by, just as close, chirping angrily, flying after the hawk. The hawk had a baby and was, now, happily eating away. The mother tried, in vain, to save her baby but it was no use. She flew to the other side of the yard, perched on an electrical wire and cried for a good 20 minutes. It was heartbreaking to hear her sadness. After she finished grieving she flew away.
    You can guess my daughters were horrified and yet, in awe of seeing a hawk so close. They excitedly talked about what had just happened. It was very interesting to hear their perspectives….” The hawk was bad…what the hawk did was terrible; it killed a baby…the poor mother… could the hawk hurt the other bird(s) that way, etc, etc”…
    I sat and thought about what happened. The hawk was just being a hawk. It hunted and found a meal. It was happy and satisfied. The mother bird did what mothers do, protect their offspring’s. She did her best to save her baby but could not. She felt pain knowing her baby was no longer. She cried and grieved and when she was finished she went back to her life.
    It was a so called “good’ day for the hawk and a “bad” day for the bird. Well, at least from a human (and teenage girl) perspective. But this is no different than what we as humans do as we witness and/or judge ourselves and others labeling our actions as being “good’ or bad”.
    I explained to my daughters it was neither good nor bad. It simply was. AND it was a perfect example how animals live in their nature, doing what they do to survive, feeling their emotions as they experience them. But the main difference, that the mother bird showed us, was to fully feel the emotion, let go and move on, always staying in the moment. There was no jury of birds, judging the hawk as a murderer, nor did the mother bird continue to grieve longer than what she needed to do, but she did grieve, never the less.
    Humans tend to label situations and the players involved. We judge ourselves and others and we do not allow ourselves to feel or experience the situation, as it is. We tend to resist what we don’t like, either feeling the emotions and hold onto them (how many chronically angry or depressed people do you know?) as a way to avoid really living life, or we suppress them allowing them to bubble under the surface avoiding at every cost.

  7. Thank you again James!

    I can’t wait to read your next blog, I think we are all going through a transmutation time right now, but sometimes we tend to fall in love with the cat and refuse to let her go, even if it hurts.

    I hope I can let my cat go so I make some space for the new to arrive. Transmutation is such a magical event, but most of the time we don’t let that process occur.

    Thank you for this lesson.

    1. Hector, love your analogy of “falling in love with the cat.” Yes we do. But what we don’t realize is that if we’ll just allow the cat to be the cat it will quickly settle down. To continue with the analogy… to continue to say that the cat is a dog where never turn it into a dog. Wanting it to behave like a dog will never make it into a dog. Again, there is value in the cat (insert anger, frustration, depression, etc.) … but only as a cat. And until we see it clearly we will never find the value. ~ JAR

  8. Beautiful James,

    You are really about living fully. I so appreciate that and am comforted by letting go of the happy face. I think of those who have really gone through the “fire” and come out whole. They are our “Masters”–not just teachers. You have apparently signed up for the full ride!
    I too picked up a cat to “save” it in a cat fight. Only to realize that this was NOT a good idea and it was not my fight. I let the cat go before I was malled, and watched in short order as nature did it’s dance and they both walked away hissing as they went. Great adrenaline rush and lesson.
    As a devoted Mother and spiritual teacher, I am traversing schizophrenia with one of my sons.
    This is one of the most vicious, crippling and horrifying paths I have witnessed. AND one of the most deepening, expanding, complete and transmutational spiritual emergencies. My love for him has taken me to new depths and heights. All the spiritual platitudes just don’t cut it anymore. My spiritual teachers and buddies left me by the side of the road when he broke with reality. It was just too much pain for most of them. Suddenly all the lessons and techniques and tools we teach no longer applied. I have been left speechless and feeling quite alone in the journey to understand and believe that the path of suffering and pain is valid, and worthy. My heart broke for him and with him and my real spiritual journey began three years ago. It’s a love, hate, and embrace journey. And along the way, new vistas appear that were never imagined before the controls were taken away…


    1. Victoria, WOW! How lucid, how awake, how truly ALIVE. You’re not alone sweetheart. I remember a Zen master friend of mine telling me during the meltdown and before prison, “James you’ve possibly been given the greatest gift Life can give. Only through suffering can you potentially become an enlightened being.” This did not comfort me at all in the moment; and quite frankly I thought “if this is what it really takes I don’t want it.” I can’t say I”m an “enlightened being” I really don’t even know what that truly means. But what I can say is I mirror your sentiments completely; and therein lies a great gift for both of us Victoria. How the hell can we really touch a suffering world if we have no personal experience with which to relate to that world? How can we in our own ignorance, arrogance and self-importance be “better than” everyone else and truly help them? I don’t now believe we can. My heart goes out to you sweetie. It hurts for you. I’m so very sorry.

      One last thing… those who turn and run do so out of their own denial and fears. It ultimately has nothing to do with us. They’re doing the best they can with what the currently can handle and with what they currently know. Mastery is learning to appreciate both Pain and Pleasure in the glorious adventure of Life. My mission I believe, whether for one or many is up to Universal Intelligence, is to transcend and include the old answers in personal and spiritual development. It’s time to grow and move forward as a world. Much love thanks so much for being on the team ~ JAR

  9. Do you think you can put all your “Love life or fantasy” in a PDF or mini-eBook format soon? This is the best blog series thus far!

    I like to refer you as James Ray (AD) . Before you were locked up, you were like James Ray (BC) to me.

    You certainly have transform for the better!

    1. Hey Mike! Great idea, thanks so much. Never thought of James Arthur Ray AD but I have titled my blog on Network Blogger “James Arthur Ray 2.0” Same concept… I might like yours better. Stay tuned for a new book and thanks for being here. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  10. This blog is particularly interesting – in many ways. I’ll have to reread this one.

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