Do You Love Life or Fantasy: 3

Let me assure you… a life that’s full and complete is more than make believing and pretending that everything is roses and ignoring the thorns. Particularly when life is being especially difficult or you have a seething cauldron inside (either consciously or unconsciously).

One of the major causes of all dysfunction (and lack of fulfillment), is unresolved and/or suppressed emotional issues. If you truly wish to create the results you desire and deserve you have to first and foremost see things clearly—exactly as they are. Please read that again as well as the last two blogs (“Life or Fantasy” 1 and 2).

Now I know I’ve repeated myself a lot on this one principle, but it’s that important; and it’s so different from what many of us have been led to believe, that it’s going to take a while to sink in—it certainly did for me.

Pain is the mother of all growth

Learn here how to harness pain to grow, perform and achieve in this article.

Please understand, I still believe we should find the good, God and gifts in every single life situation, even the painful ones. In fact truth be told, there are typically way more gifts in the painful situations and experiences than in the pleasurable ones.  In fact, salvation comes through suffering. (Pause long and hard on that one).

Contemplate that for a minute, roll it around in your mind; and you’ll find it true. If it shocks you, take a moment and do at least a cursory study of all great mythology—including Judaism and Christianity.

I believe there’s a distinct process to finding these gifts wrapped in pain that’s productive; and when it’s not utilized it’s most often counterproductive. The counterproductive approach ends in suppression and denial of the most primal and fundamental energies you possess.

“ The descent into matter must be complete

 before the ascent into spirit can commence.”

– Dion Fortune

The big problem as I see it in personal and spiritual transformation is the turning to the “positive” too quickly without fully grounding your toes in the sand. Also known as denial. It’s transmutation not denial that is the tool of mastery.

What the great esoteric writer Dion Fortune is communicating above is that you must get your feet grounded or you’ll have no foundation. Ponder this one. It’s like attempting to build a tall skyscraper without first digging a deep hole.

We’ve already discussed at length the first step of seeing things clearly. As the Buddha stated “facing life squarely, exactly as it is.”

When I was sitting in a 12X10 cell with my entire life gone as I knew it. I was trapped in a box with a cellmate who dipped Skoal, never brushed his teeth, spit all over the cell, who yelled at the top of his lungs in his nightmares every single night, and who never took a shower. There was no denying that my situation was bleak and painful. It sucked. The pain I was surrounded with in this hell was palpable.

I felt indescribable anguish, the depths of despair, forsaken by God; and there was no escape (literally).

I had to face my situation, my suffering, and my life squarely, head-on, exactly as it was.

To deny this initial ruthless assessment is to suppress and deny our humanity. Which is not only dysfunctional, as stated earlier, but it also suppresses some of the most powerful and primal energies you possess.

Please know that anything that is suppressed… will be expressed… in later days and uglier ways. Please read that again.

The only way to get beyond it is to go through it; and you can’t go through it unless and until you first acknowledge it for what it is.

After step one is fully and ruthlessly complete, we go to step two in the process. Stay tuned

Be awake and see clearly,


james arthur ray



76 Responses

  1. This blog was very meaningful for me. Thanks so much.

    1. Dear James,

      I used to think you had something to say. Then people died. Then you went to prison. Then you came back. And now you are trying to re establish yourself as a guru, a teacher. But in these blogs you never mention anything about what you did, or why, or how you feel about the heartache those deaths caused. You have never said I really screwed up. You have never said that you got out of control. And now you have the audacity to tell us to look into ourselves. You tell us to stand up to reality as you have. You have not done anything to make me want to listen to you. You have not done anything but launch a very transparent and manipulative campaign to regain your celebrity and wealth. Sorry bro, this person is not buying it and will not be reading any more of your self serving babble.
      I do wish you well, but I don’t have much hope for it if you continue on this path.

      1. Brad, I’m sorry that you feel this way and I honor everyone to have their own opinion. I spoke of the past, my mistakes, and my apologies in my full one hour interview on Piers Morgan, evidently you didn’t watch it.

        At some point I must choose (as I think we all must) to focus forward and that’s what I’m doing.

        As far as “relaunching my wealth” in my opinion I never lost it for I never believed, nor taught, that wealth is money. True wealth is an internal realization NOT an external acquisition. Even if I did believe wealth was external (which I don’t) I haven’t attempted to sell anything in the 7 months I’ve been out… I only continue to do my best to assist and provide value in whatever way I can. I can’t help (or speak) to everyone and I realize that more now than ever before. I too wish you well and hope that you find peace ~ JAR

  2. Dear James,
    Thank you for starting this blog. I read and re-read almost daily. I am enjoying 1 aspect of my life and struggling with another. My daughter and I were in a knock down drag out fight last year and we haven’t spoken since. The other side of my life is I re discovered my husband of 22 years and it’s been the best year since my daughter is out of our lives. I still love her and I have forgiven and moved on, she has not. She still blames me for all that went wrong in her life then and now. The sad part is she was one of your serious followers and its like she has blocked every good thing you taught. I have embraced it then, during your time away, and now. Again thank you James

    1. Jackie… even “serious followers” fall off track in their humanity. Heck, even teachers fall off track. Someone asked me recently if I really “walked my talk” (a very familiar cliche)I quickly answered, “No, not all the time. In fact no one is nearly as disappointed in me as me a lot of days.” But you see when we learn to love our humanity and see clearly we have compassion first and foremost for ourselves… then for others (and it must come in that order). I defy anyone to show me someone who “walks their talk” all the time. If you can find them they’re probably a droid… certainly not human. All of us know more than we do consistently; and yet we’re all doing the best we can with where we currently are. ~ JAR

  3. I so appreciate your description of your cell mate and the horrific habits you had to deal with because my father had similar unkempt and repulsive traits and I felt as a child imprisoned by a crass situation in which everyone was in denial about yet I was so bothered by. I became extremely sensitive to smells, sounds, noise, snoring, barking dogs, loud music, beauty or lack of it, people’s hygiene or lack of it, and terrible guilt for my own disgust and shame and revulsion and the resulting qualities of wishing they would die, disappear, and wanting to kill them or run away from them. This transferred onto many later life situations where I had exquisite sensitivity to all kinds of stimuli. I overcompensated by becoming both an aesthete and a recluse to get away from all the stimuli that not only threatened and ennervated me but brought out my primal fears and aggressions and self righteousness. I felt terrible guilt for not being able to feel love for these people who I adored until they spit on the sidewalk or gobbled their food. It took a long time to forgive myself for my reaction to what I considered to be their gross unconsciousness and crassness. It bought out my hate and disgust for creatureliness, and this was so hard to accept. I felt so shallow and heartless and ruthless for viewing others as reptilians. But … I got to a point where it was a relief to experience and validate this revulsion because it was my current truth, it was all I had and took so much energy to repress it. I had to admit to myself that my ability to love and accept life as is was frail, and this was such a humbling disappointing to my spiritual lifelong aspirations to love unconditionally. So I am very eager to hear your ongoing revelation of the next layer of your experience for it gives words to and helps me understand and recognize my own struggle to deal with this lifelong hypersensitivity to the unaesthetic qualities we all possess and accept the part of me that recoils from what shows up in my reality..

    1. Barbara… thanks and I’m glad that it helped. At the end of the day we are all on an evolutionary path back to the awareness of our true Spiritual nature and what I realized as I charged into prison determined to “change the world” was that you can’t expect those in grade school to understand, relate or be open to grad school. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with someone being in grade school… for we all must start there. Likewise, with our own children we don’t get angry at them when they’re childish… for that’s what they’re supposed to be at that particular point in their own evolution. Nor do we (and this is important I think) look at them as being superior or “more evolved” for this is arrogance and ignorance. When we see clearly we see ourselves… yes maybe an earlier version of ourselves but still us nonetheless. I hope this makes sense ~ JAR

  4. Thanks James – your insights are coming through and I can feel your Sagittarius knowledge in its higher frequency. Strong work. Rebecca

    1. Hey Becca… actually I’m a Scorpio, although I definitely have some characteristics of Sag being on the cusp. I’ve always prescribed to Vedic astrology versus Western and personally believe it to be more accurate. But I”m certainly no astrologer, only know what I feel from my personal experience. Keep the faith ~ JAR

  5. Very powerful stuff this morning James…. And perfect timing for me as I sit and read writings that are being sent to me appropriate for what I’m working on in my life right now! Sounds a bit confusing and the Law of Attraction is at work in my life.

    In 2 hours I will be meeting with my Coach who recently posed the question “How is what you are holding onto serving your Spiritual Growth?” She asked me to come up with a list of positives and a list of negatives. Rather than do that I decided to look at my e-mails and this one popped up from you. Following what I know is my intuition I read this 3rd part and realized I was exactly where I was supposed to be this morning; reading your words and applying them to my own soul life situation.

    Thank you for being there, even though you didn’t know you were! You have spurred me to bring something up with my Coach that is at my core and needs to be dealt with. I cannot move forward and attract what I say I want in a certain area of my life if I don’t acknowledge the belief that is underlying, planted as a child and unravel it so that I can let go and move on…


    Astrologer Dawn

    1. Dawn, I’m so happy that you and I connected in the Collective Intelligence this AM. See it for what it is and only then can you move beyond it. Keep the faith ~ JAR

  6. You write an interesting blog. You have obviously learned a lot and are making a giant comeback. I attended one of you seminars in Bloominton, Mn several years ago and purchased your book. I too have gone through some terrible times as many of us have. It is not easy to find redemption and a new and better life after trauma and turmoil but it is possible. Thanks for your thoughts. I know I will stay tuned and get more help!

    1. Dave, we ALL go through “terrible times,” it’s the true journey of the soul. When we get that then we might just really get it. Keep the faith ~ JAR

  7. Wow very deep…just knew you were going to come back with very profound wisdom from your experiences! Thanks so much for sharing I love this latest blog! Especially, the only way to get beyond it is to go through it by acknowledging it for what it truly is. Only than can we truly move on. I didn’t always get this but life has definitely taught me it’s a lot healthy to deal with the pain, really deal with it or it just haunts your soul in one way or another. Thanks again! Staying tuned, Much love Sharon

  8. Hi James: I have been following you since your Secret days, but took a special interest in your journey, on that fateful day at Camp Verde. One of the questions that I have often pondered is why did God select James to go through this trial and none of your other famous personnel development gurus( I say that tongue in cheek). For whatever reason, God has had me praying for you since that time. All of us, including myself need prayer. Sometimes I think the biggest spiritual test can be fame and money et,al. Anyways I see what God is doing in your life. You are becoming a beautiful, real voice for people to relate to, as they traverse their own human journey, which indeed is filled with much suffering. I hear your pain, and continue to pray that God ministers to your spirit, as only He can. In the end God in His infinite wisdom and love will remove everything from our life so He is known as the loving source of all. To some this may sound cruel, but it is truly an amazing expression of His passionate, love for us. Keep pressing forward James, I can only imagine how many days you must have felt like giving up. To me heroes are people who do Not give up, when being transformed into a new and beautiful creation. God is making you a hero James. Wishing you the real of life, not the fantasy! Thank you for enduring the suffering to become a light and voice for millions!

    1. Karen, wow! Thanks so much, I’m honored and appreciate your prayers. I see the Divine Perfection in every single moment and like I stated in my interview I now know “I had to go to prison for there were things I needed to learn there that I couldn’t have learned anywhere else.” I’m a better man for it and I’m eternally grateful. When you really begin to love life Karen you realize even the messes and pain are beautiful and a great gift. ~ JAR

  9. James, even when you were in your 12×10 cell, know that many were right there with you the entire time. It all happens for a reason. Peace to you.

  10. I’m very glad you are back, period!!! (Okay, so it’s an exclamation point… a series of them.)
    I try every day to live in my truth. Today I felt joy for no other reason but to feel joy. There was no reason for it; nothing out of the ordinary going on. When I feel the challenge of “what needs to be done” and I do it, whatever it is, I feel wonderful because I took responsibility for myself and my actions. The truth: the good, bad, and ugly… is in the doing, to overcome procrastination and fear and just do it. The release brings so much joy… my soul feels like it is spreading out in all directions toward the infinite. Then I’m ready for the next challenge… one at a time until I’m there… where ever “there” is. 🙂

    1. Chris, it’s good to be back… although in many ways I”m “not back” for I feel more awake and alive than ever before. I get that you feel the same way. Some interpret my posts as negative but I see it much differently. True negativity is resistance to growth… which is sole (soul) purpose for being here. In that sense I’m more positive and awake in my opinion than ever before. Life has taken many right hooks and sucker punches at me and I’m still here, as are you. Keep feeling joyous Chris for it’s a glorious ride. Love life ~ JAR

  11. James,
    I read your blog and find comfort in your words. I once saw you in person and marveled at your thinking. I watched as your life crumbled and watched as, phoenix like, you rose from the ashes. I greatly admire you.

    I agree that troubles come from something we haven’t addressed or faced in our lives. For me my world imploded and everything I knew and was familiar with was gone. In a short span of time I lost my husband, my home, my town, my country and everything that went with it. At 65, I was forced back into a job market in a country I didn’t know. I lost my health and struggle with untreated cancer. I realized that the journey I was on was to face the issues of which you speak. Head on with pain searing my soul. It left me alone and exhausted and trying to pull myself up off the ground once more. I don’t know where you find the strength, let alone the courage, to keep going but as long as you write you send strength to those of us who are failing. Thank you and God Speed always.

    1. Lynne, I find the strength by reading posts like yours and realizing that we’re ALL experiencing the human condition; and no matter how bad it may seem… it can always be more challenging than it is. There’s no way I can imagine stepping into your shoes, but what I do know is that life 9with all its pain and difficulty) is extremely beautiful; and the human spirit is way more stronger than we can ever imagine until we’re tested. ~ JAR

  12. “lack of fulfillment”…. Suffering and Pain. It seems to me that pain exists in reality, in the now experience we live in. Suffering and the ‘experience’ lack of fulfillment occurs in our minds. I discovered I control the ‘conditions for satisfaction’ and changing the conditions changes whether I find joy, suffering or what’s so. I frequently lose focus, fall short of my objective and fail to walk the talk. Then a new day and a fresh start. Thank you James. I really like this series.

    When you get to the end of all the light you know and it’s time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly. – Edward Teller

    Flying is a kind of effortlessness. Growing wings on the way down is habit forming.

  13. Hello James,

    I can see you have reached your truth – me too, just different circumstances. There is no better place when we are in the know. This awareness is where true transformation and peace comes to us. Bless you for the wonderful work you do for humanity.
    Susanne Jensen

    1. Susanne, it’s a fact in my experience that you ABSOUTELY MUST let go of what you believe to be real to allow for that which is waiting to emerge. Thanks so much for taking the time to write. Love Life ~ JAR

  14. Hi James
    Just wanted to share what I wrote on 17 February 2010 on page 167 Harmonic Wealth (which I was reading at the time)

    “James Arthur Ray, I pray that everything goes right for You and out of this chaos You become stronger”

    So glad your back
    Stay blessed

  15. hi James
    I have followed you since the secret, wright now I find it hard to talk about my life because I have always dealt with everything myself, always felt alone even though I have a brother and sister never been able to talk to them about my life, right now I am going through a hard time with my business and feel on my own about that, and I think I cant let go of my past and I know I should, you see I lost my wife 10years ago to cancer at the age of 42 and I brought up two kids my daughter 11 and son at 15 who i love and need around me I don’t know what I would have done if not for them, any way sorry to bother you with that ,but every now and then it comes back to haunt me I think mainly because I loved my wife very much, we where 25 years married from the age of 18, I think the problem is I don’t think I can let go of my past, any advise from you would appreciated . thank you Charlie.

    1. Charlie, please know that you are NEVER a bother. My heart goes out to you and I can only imagine (literally) what you feel. You see we can really never know until we’ve experienced it for ourselves. The best encouragement I can give you is that you must allow your grief to run it’s course. Anything we resist tends to persist but things that are looked at clearly and openly will eventually disappear. Life is hard and painful my friend and no amount of traditional “positive thinking” can change this. As I stated to Suzanne above: true positive thinking is NOT expecting what we define as “the best” to happen all the time… but rather accepting that what we’re experiencing is the best for our own growth in the moment. I hope this helps in some small way. You are in my prayers my friend ~ JAR

      1. James
        Thank you for taking the time to reply very much appreciated

        take care regards my friend Charlie

    2. Charlie, please know that everyone has a story that, if told, would break your heart and bring you to your knees. Cannot remember where the quote comes from but its another way of saying, “I (and WE) hear you, you have a different story line than mine but the life experience is universal, if you are willing to tune in to the good/bad/ugly as a witness to the complex human drama which no one escapes from but we are taught to deny. Thank you for sharing your heart! Namaste.

      1. Barbara – So true. WE do hear…and know that everyone surrounding us might have the same background in different manifistations as Charlie. We are in this together, let’s support and hear one another. I for one am never going to be quick to judge in things I didn’t experience. Keep the love for others always near the surface & may it be returned to you as you have given it.

    3. Dear Charlie,
      Glad you are here.
      Prayers are being sent your way – that your heart be healed, your family blessed and that you have all the guidance that you need.

  16. James… I don´t think you´re being negative…

    This positivity-thing has gone too far…

    You are entitled to speak your own truth and I appreciate that you do!

    1. Thanks Suzanne… and I couldn’t agree more. TRUE positive thinking is not about expecting the “best” to happen all the time… but rather accepting that whatever happens is the best for the moment; and is moving you toward greater growth. Thanks for being here. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  17. Blessings to all as we share the experience of the human drama/dilemma and see it all for what an impeccable privilege it is to recognize the gift of welcoming. Such a relief instead of resisting certain parts we don”t like or don’t want, and to welcome iit as it unfolds itself and reveals its perfection, albeit in retrospect mode. I am 71 and still just learning how to trust my Life. Thank you James for creating the space for such meaningful and profound exchanges for all of us.

  18. Hello James,
    It’s great that you’re responding to us here and your words to Charlie are particularly touching. In this new community of yours we have the opportunity to not only learn but to send prayer/uplifting energy to each other.
    So glad you’re back!
    And, say what you will about Vedic vs. Western – I was a November 18 baby (yeah, I know) and can confirm from personal experience that a Scorpio can’t be kept down ad infinitum.
    One final thing – please remind your webmaster about that previously-discussed “Prove That Your/You’re/You Are Real” issue…it will help me sleep better.
    ; )

    1. LOL! Lisa I did tell him. Unfortunately when people are working out of service (versus payment) and labor of love, they tend to have to work with the clients that pay the bills first. I”m practicing my own stuff right now and feeling my feelings of frustration for I too tend to be a bit anal about these things =) I’m sure he’ll get to it. Feel free to keep reminding me though. Much love ~ JAR

  19. James,
    Your insight is amazing – hits right to the core and beyond. Every written word above applies to my life right now, and I was trying to take the path of oppression and clearly see that it isn’t possible because as you say anything suppressed will be expressed in later days – isn’t that the truth. Hopefully you won’t mind my saying, but clearly you have grown leaps and bounds, thank you for sharing your amazing insights and contemplations. They are very meaningful and profound and I truly appreciate this. Thank you. Donna

    1. Donna, thanks so much. We tend to make so much out of our “climbs” in life but it’s our Falls that cause the greatest contemplation and growth. I feel so much different and yet realize I still have a long way to go… but isn’t that the exciting part of it all? Much love ~ JAR

  20. OH how I hate this message. OH how I love this message! My life was turned upside down and inside out five years ago, and it has never been the same since. It was a really, really challenging time, and painful physically, emotionally, and psychically.

    But you are so right. Being grounded in the “what’s so” of life is essential. I cried my eyes out, huddled in a ball of pain, and felt as forsaken as one can feel. But from that living hell a new life is now being born. The Divine had to shake me up and shake out all the bull**** it seems. Here is a beautiful poem from Hafiz about this:

    Tired of Speaking Sweetly

    Love wants to reach out and manhandle us and
    Break all our teacup talk of God.

    If you had the courage and
    Could give the Beloved Her choice, some nights,
    She would just drag you around the room
    By your hair,
    Ripping from your grip all those toys in the world
    That bring you no joy.

    Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly
    And wants to rip to shreds
    All your erroneous notions of truth

    That make you fight within yourself, dear one,
    And with others,
    Causing the world to weep
    On too many fine days.

    God wants to manhandle us,
    Lock us inside of a tiny room with Herself
    And practice Her dropkick.

    The Beloved sometimes wants
    To do us a great favor:

    Hold us upside down
    And shake all the nonsense out.
    But when we hear
    She is in such a “playful drunken mood”

    Most everyone I know
    Quickly packs their bags and hightails it
    out of town

  21. Not sure who said this, however when things in my live do not seem to go according to what I expected, and I get a bit cranky, the thought that “live happens for me, not to me” , always brings me back to what is ,and it is at that point that I can look at the situation and start looking for the piece of wisdom in that situation, which is the piece I require to grow.


  22. After reading all the comments I want to ask a question.
    What about taking responsibity for our actions ?
    I truly believe we create our own reality.

    1. Monica I agree with you. Two things: first let’s look at the word response-ability. In other words, the ability to respond. Responsibility is not saying that you’re “at fault” as is often thought. It states that you’re choosing to respond to the opportunities life gives to you. You can be bitter and full of blame or grateful and awake. I also agree that we create our own reality… but creating our reality is NOT saying that everything we think we want is going to happen all the time–it’s not! And deep down inside we all know this. Creating our reality is choosing to see everything as an opportunity and gift from Universal Intelligence for our own development, advancement an growth. Big difference. Truth be told… we grow the MOST during challenges and “defeats” not through our “victories. Something to ponder ~ JAR

  23. Dear James, I have learned so much from you ever since I first saw you in The Secret. What you say in this blog is so true. A lot of us try to remain positive in spite of negative circumstances, instead of acknowledging what we are going through to get over it and grow. I’ve caught myself blocking negative events, pretending they never happened then wondering why I later felt deep resentment and anger. You are right when you say that we should not suppress anything, but accept it. Then we will find peace. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. God bless you.

    1. Argel… thanks so much for this post. So many of us think that denial is the answer, it’s not. True “positive thinking” is not expecting what we believe to be “the best.” True positive thinking is accepting that what is currently happening IS the best for our development, advancement and growth. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  24. Thank you James. You have no idea how much I needed to read that.

  25. I have been reading your stuff for years now James. You fascinate me for some reason I have yet to pinpoint. I am curious as I read this today. What did you actually find out about yourself when you had to “face it squarely”, “head on” etc.?
    The lessons are good, but I see so much more humanity in you that wants to be seen and heard.
    Your intensity as a being and your commitment to transformation are commendable, palpable, real. I keep hearing some soft cry for real help from you. What is it?

    1. Victoria, we ALL need help don’t we? None of us has the answers and the more we think we do… we don’t. My lessons will take me a lifetime to integrate and communicate. Much more than in the “short attention span” of the average blog reader. But I will tell you two things: the human condition is through all humanity–me, you, rich, poor, imprisoned, celebrity, or obscurity. And secondly with this realization–a deep compassion for us all. I’ll do my best to give things in sound bites here and more in depth as time rolls on. Much love ~ JAR

  26. James,
    No I didn’t see your appearance on Piers Morgan. If in fact you acknowledged all that I mentioned and found a way to validate your current path, then I can accept that. I don’t think I will take the time to find the show and watch it though. I’ll just assume the best.
    Al I know is that I too have made some pretty big mistakes, and I find it hard to pontificate with any feeling of providing value when I know I can’t point to myself as the model. But Rumi told us to “Come, come. No matter how many times you have broken your vows, come. This is not a caravan of despair.” If in fact we are all connected, then I guess we just move forward as two people who are doing the best they can in the best way they know. And hope the both of us are kind of getting it right. Thanks for the engagement.

    1. Brad, yes, we are both doing our best feeling our way along in the dark to the light. I also addressed the past in spades in my sentencing hearing which was televised as well. Yes, I’ve made some terrible mistakes and I’m doing my best along with you to learn from them and move forward. I REALLY appreciate your return message, it’s comes as a pleasant surprise. Stay awake and Love Life ~ JAR

  27. “The big problem as I see it in personal and spiritual transformation is the turning to the “positive” too quickly without fully grounding your toes in the sand. Also known as denial. It’s transmutation not denial that is the tool of mastery.”
    Transmutation and radical acceptance – I hope you have several post on this!
    Warm Regards,

    1. Deb… yes I agree. You hit the nail on the head as I see it too. There will be many posts as this is a topic that in my opinion really needs to be explored. Thanks for being here ~ JAR

  28. I really appreciate your sharing of your challenges. Your prison storiesmthat you shared with me are fascinating and scary. I would like to mention that each of your blogs could be read by you, using a clear mirror.
    Of course, I’m easy to discount as a spiritual nut, burying the pain in my life, but you know another point of view-which you touched on disparagingly. In some ways, it seems your cell held you while you came to (norma). I look forward to your growth back to heaven grade. Right now, a lot of pain is being expressed, yet you have so much good to relish. You have judged those folks who wished you well and offered prayers, as irrelevant in terms of your support, and judged those who offered financial support as supportive.
    I know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that you can truly rise from the flames, purged of all these negative judgements, actively searching for the positive bricks, with which to build (not rebuild) your masterpiece.
    I hope you know that I make myself available to you in friendship and admiration. I thank you for “dying for my sins”; the sins I also commit.
    I think you said you are in studio city now, but when back here, feel free to visit and pal around, sharing metaphors.

    Much love to you, victor geberin

    1. Hey Vic, thanks for your comments and your support. My perspective is that if you’ll read everything I’ve written I did not “disparage” anyone actually stating “which one of us can throw stones–certainly not me. Which one of us can speak from another’s perspective. We all wish we would do things differently in many cases.” And I also never mentioned “financial support” at all. In fact, many if not most of the people I thanked did not provide financial support. And any time you thank anyone you risk forgetting someone. I chose to mention the people who first gave me permission to do so; and secondly were there most frequently and deeply. It’s interesting how we all see things from our own life experience and filters (including me).

      Finally, yes there is pain; and my contention is that we all have it. Until we’re ready to acknowledge it we can never fully “relish the good.” I will finish with a reminder that my very first blog was a very lengthy treatise on how grateful I was and still am. Life is messy, it often hurts–that’s a fact. But that does not mean it’s not beautiful and in perfect order. Much love ~ JAR

      1. I can relate James…
        I lost…about everything too. Mother, sister, brother-in-law, home, business, wife,”future”… whatever that is!
        I am still in the abyss stage mixed with numb awareness. Still exploring the abyss.
        The prison, of my own making, my thoughts about it all, still linger. Wondering why I chose this particular path. It will, no doubt be part of my gift to others, in the end. I do hope it is the same for you. Wide awake! (As much as possible)
        Blessings, you are a good man James. Your heart will not betray you.

        1. Sunman, first let me say that my heart goes out to you. You and I are in the same boat my friend (as are many others in this pivotal time in our history). May I just offer a couple of thoughts that have helped me? Continue to explore the Abyss for it is in the Abyss that you will truly find God. Why is it in the book of Genesis that “all was dark and void” FIRST before light came into being? If God is eternal, always was and shall be, then that must mean God lived in the darkness first, right? We’ve been conditioned to believe that God is all light, but I suggest that God is both. When you can find your heaven in the midst of hell then heaven is truly found. Easier said than done I know.

          Further, I’ll submit that you may have lost everything external… but the contraction of external brings a corresponding expansion of the internal is we’ll only awaken to see it. There’s no way you have lost “your future” my friend. The Universe has given us both space to create with unlimited potential.

          Finally, the person that can help others the most is the person who has experienced the most. How do you help those in the mud from the “top of the mountain?” Yelling from the top of the mountain, encouraging people to climb and boasting about the view does little good. You have to get in the mud with them and lift them from beneath. Unless you get a little dirty you can never have true compassion and you can never even be relevant. Keep the faith, my love goes out to you ~ JAR

  29. Hi James
    No one can show another the way unless they have first traveled it themselves. In order to have do that I have found these to be true for me:
    1. Have to admit that we (our egos) truly dont know the way
    2. Have to sincerely ask for help. Key word being sincerely the kind of sincerity that brings you to knees raw open hearted and crying admitting all that you need to admit to yourself and your God and ask to be shown the path AND a mentor to Guide you.
    3. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust. Trust your Guidance. Trust yourslf to follow. Trust the process of the path. Trust that your journey has value.

    We are all leaders. We are all followers. It is our awareness of such that determines the value of our journey.

    I value your journey James. I trust the value of your journey and your Guidance.

    God Bless from Alaska Barbara

    e are all followers.

  30. Hi James –

    Thank you for sharing your journey with us. The love and humility comes through your words and I just wanted to wish you the very best in your forward movement. Maybe this is a lesson for all of us to refrain from judgements, as we never know what anothers’ experience may be, or what lessons they’ve come here to own. I do know that it takes courage to publicly walk what you’re walking in an authentic and open way. We can all learn from your life, and the beauty I am sure you will create from it all. Wishing you ease and a life filled with love, you’ve certainly helped many others create that thru your work.

    Many blessings to you James,


    1. Kimberly, thanks so much for your kind and loving wishes. May I just say that to wish for ease (as much as I often would love it) is an illusion. We’re not here for easy we’re here to develop, advance and grow; and when we’re really honest with ourselves we must admit that we grow the most through our challenges, pain and austerities in life. Maybe we can wish for more strength to elegantly and wisely move through the challenges life brings. Much love ~ JAR

  31. JAR-Since I was once in a sweat lodge situation-I can relate to this very sad situation.My neighbour built a sweat lodge,and invited me over-but luckily-I only held the outside flap for people to go in.I did meet the Indian shaman,and noticed that Rick and his wife had very bloodshot eyes after the sweat lodge meeting.
    I do hope that your future is free of all despair and self-recrimination.Whatever happens will be for the best-Sincerely-JM>

  32. James,

    Your post seems very appropriate for me. Just when I thought the hardest time in my life had come and gone seems like here comes another storm (even bigger that the last one). I appreciate your message especially that it has made its way to me right when I need it. I will just keep it short and sweet: am delighted to see your blog/newsletter in my inbox, keeps me knowing that that we move forward no matter what, you give to me a renewed strength for the day, and on top of that your blogs are full of insight and golden nuggets of advice. For that, Thank you. Your friend out here in sunny Los Angeles, CA.

    1. Hey Neighbor Evelyn! Yes it does come in waves and that’s what we so often want to deny and attempt to suppress. I too had a period of my life where I thought “the most difficult stuff was behind me.” Little did I know. The Law of Rhythm tells us that season come and go and things ALWAYS move in cycles. When we embrace this we learn to expect it and utilize it versus resist and fight. Everything truly does have a purpose Evelyn. Keep the Faith and continue to Love Real Life. It’s a helluva ride and adventure. Much love ~ JAR

  33. Hey James,
    John here from Down Here Down Under. You’ve been integral in my awakening to all things cool and a have – from a distance – participated in the healing of various traumas I’ve had the blessings to be involved in. ‘Twas certainly not feeling that way whilst in them, yet your words (I’ve devoured your books and some of your audio goodies) rang in my head during those inevitable dark times.
    This is just a short note letting you know that your work continues, as does mine and one day soon our paths shall cross and we’ll get to sit together.
    Shine on brother, the world needs you
    Much peace from Down Here Down Under
    John 🙂

    1. Thanks John, it’s our challenges, austerities and difficulties in life that bring the greatest growth. The world needs us all. Keep the faith ~ JAR

  34. James,

    I have to say that I really look forward to your new blog posts. And I believe you have hit the nail right on the head with this perspective. It’s in the contrast of an unwanted experience that we truly know what we desire. It’s not in concentrating on it that we rise, but we have to accept it and move from there. Funny how I’ve recently been coming over this knowledge redundantly lately. That’s how I know you are right on. It’s good to see that you are back and I wish you all the success in the world and then some. As far as the negative goes, feel blessed for those petty tyrants. Thank you James. Looking forward to your next post.


    1. John, Yes! I believe it’s time for a new perspective and awakening. Some will let go kicking and screaming and I most probably may have as well had Life not seen fit to rip it from my hands. True “positive thinking” from where I sit today, is NOT expecting what we deem to be the best. True positive thinking is ACCEPTING that what we have IS the best for our future development, advancement and growth. Thanks for being here. Keep the Faith ~ JAR

  35. Hello James!
    Thank you for emerging as a Phoenix from the ashes. In a certain way is nice to know I am not the only one who has lost everything and is still trying to understand what happened.
    Reading some comments here I realise there are many people who are going thought the same tests or as you said, we are all in the same boat.
    I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel yet but I am striving every day to keep the faith going. Thank you for sharing with us your experiences and lessons. Let’s keep going and learning together in this space-time coordinate.

    1. Hector… yes every single day I speak with someone who is going through a challenging time right now. I personally believe it’s part of a huge shift in consciousness collectively. The old must pass away for the new to emerge. The true test of character Hector is not continuing when you see a light at the end of the tunnel. The true test is continuing when you don’t see the light. Keep the faith my friend and thanks for being here ~ JAR

  36. I agree… there is a huge shift in consciousness going on.all around us…the old is passing away,making room for new views. We have a choice of continuing on when not seeing the light, while trusting that the light is what changes darkness into light simply by being light.. New ideas help us all to move to ideas and leave behind thought patterns that have been outgrown. Thank you for your willingness to share your messages.

    New perspectives and awareness is most definitely going on ,as you have mentioned, and so more than positive thinking is what is happening with this shift.

    I heard a live chat surrounding the topic of loving our neighbor was discussed with questions submitted covering many difficult situations. I’m including the link. I hope you listen to the many responses indicating alternatives to suffering, hurt, and anger.

    There is more than co-incidence with paths crossing through your blog and life experiences.

  37. First I will say that I value each and every remark here, both the good and the bad (for lack of better words – labels: “good and “bad.” Should we even bother if we agree all the time? Pretty dull if you ask me. You may or may not revisit here (although I think any true student of James would have to. This is, In my opinion, not stuff to be glanced at in passing, but revisited again and again…and especially including the very interesting play of the comments. I’d like to thank you all (not just JAR), all of you, and bless you all too, on this Journey of Life. And may you stay awake….

    As far as this particular blog goes, I’m not sure how to process “pain is the Mother of all growth,” as I do believe we grow from our triumphs as well as our failures. That is not to say that the pain is not there, or should be shunned. I think that I may see where you (JAR) are going with that “positive movement” statement. We’ve let it get so out of hand that it seems to have become a worldwide placebo or panacea. “Be positive all the time and you will live a life of grandeur.” “Do affirmations and absolutely anything you want will be yours!” And have a Super-sized coke while you’re at it! It’s like you said in your video, James…. “WRONG.” Putting a band aid on a severed artery can and never will never work! The wound needs to be addressed (and dressed), but first you have to see it for what it is. You have to assess the situation – so you can adjust to it. If you don’t all Hell is gonna break loose! And it might anyway…
    This is not to say that we shouldn’t keep a “good” attitude, a healthy, growth oriented attitude towards whatever is happening in our lives on an daily basis. But look,. life has lemons in it. Lemons are sour. Lemons are great! Life would be so dull without them. Should we just pour Splenda all over everything? I think not! I don’t want that fake, sugary taste in my mouth. Do you? To bring up the rose analogy again (um…I think we visited this somewhere before), “A life that is full and complete has both roses and thorns.”(Jar) It wouldn’t be a rose without the thorns. It doesn’t make it smell any less lovely. Perhaps it makes it even more so.
    So, in a different vein (I hope I am not boring you or stealing your time with my chatter again…seems to be becoming a habit)…. :} But I feel I must touch on Brad’s (Feb 3rd) post, as it churns my stomach and, I think , needs to be addressed…for there are many like Brad I fear. He said you (JAR) professed to be a guru or teacher, Well, a guru, I don’t know…but a Teacher (and maybe guide)- absolutely! You’ve taught me so much already in the short time I’ve known you, JAR…(albeit through the internet only). And…a teacher is a noble profession, a noble calling. I myself am a teacher. Teachers teach. That’s what they do. They can’t help themselves. And how could there be anything wrong with sharing the mass of knowledge and experience you’ve gained in your life… all of it! It’s a very open and giving thing to be a teacher. And I commend you for that.
    Brad (among other things) claimed that you (James) never really said you screwed up. In the minuscule amount of time I’ve known you (albeit not in person), I have seen you not only apologize but also say in various modes and fashions, that you made a grave error. More than one. And you certainly paid for it – and will continue to. Where does human compassion come in, Brad? I would like to see how you, or anyone else, would hold up under the pressures and downright tragedies that James has experienced. Seriously??? Imagine going from being a multimillionaire, top of your field, accolades, beautiful women I’m sure, prestige, idolization even, VERY TOP of the mountain looking down at the world in glory…. Oh but wait…. IT’S ALL GONE!! Give it all back…we changed our minds… You screwed up!! Now your’e down, and the mud, and we’ll just kick some more mud in your face. Oh…you’re bleeding…who cares…. “Kill the Beast.” It reminds me of Beauty and the Beast. You can’t tell reality by appearance, Brad. Appearance is the illusion.
    And so Brad tells you (JAR) that you “have the audacity to tell us to look into ourselves.” Well, I would would certainly say you’ve earned the right, James! You’ve had your chance to earn it, and maybe…just maybe you can help others through that as well… because we all have times when we look into the inner depths of our own souls, or at least we should. Audacity? Just another one of those words that people like to throw around. Do you know that there are still places on this earth where people stone each other to death? It’s ghastly what we humans are capable of – when we are looking away from our Divinity. Have some compassion! Some real compassion. Not just a word to throw around like audacity. Or wealth. Or success. Or any of it.
    Brad reminded us how three people died on that fateful day. As if any of us needed to be reminded of that. I only thank God it wasn’t worse, James. I only thank God that you didn’t lose your life too. Because you might have. That brings tears to my eyes because if you had it would have been a great loss to the world. And thank God the others survived. Thank God it was only three. But they lost their lives, not you. That (for whatever reason) was THEIR path. It was tragic, yes. Horrible. Yes! It was a nightmare, Obviously. But it’s in the past. Can’t we move on? Bring the burden with you if you must…but move on. Move forward. That’s what the Master does. And that’s what you’ve done James! And yet they still grab at your feet and try to pull you back down.
    I wasn’t there. I don’t know what happened. And neither were you Brad. And it’s a tender…tender subject no doubt. I think James has great courage in being so open and frank about it. I wonder if you could, Brad, if given the same opportunity.
    Brad (you) talked about “self-serving babble,” something about JAR”S rebuilding to regain fame and celebrity and wealth, and to dupe people in the process?. I won’t repeat the words. It wouldn’t be positive at this juncture to continue to propagate it. You’re (JAR) transparent….really Brad…I’m sorry to say I think you’ve missed the whole essence of who James is (NOW), what he is trying to teach, and what – actually – his life work is…. which is to HELP PEOPLE through his experiences, from before the accident, during the Hell years, and into the future. And if he rebuilds his life in the process, bless him for it for God’s sake! And still, on the other end of things, I’v heard (even here) some call James “a Hero” or “Enlightened” or whatever…. Awesome! I can’t argue with that one. I wouldn’t venture to say that he’s a hero. Enlightened. God-like, except in the way we all are. He’s just a man. A man trying to make his way in this world – just like you and me, Brad, and all the rest of us. And have you not seen what James has accomplished in his life? I’d like to see you try. Should it all be thrown away, all his experience and expertise, all the things that are going on in his brilliant mind? I think that would be a tragedy. And so you (Brad) say he rambles.
    Well, I’m rambling now…..and so ‘ll stop now, but I won’t apologize for the length of this, or the subject(s) or tone, because it is what I feel deeply. Brad, you told JAR “You have not done anything to make me want to listen to you.” And I’m sure the sting of that, and all your words ( and the words of others like you) are fresh and painful, no matter how many times James has heard it before. A sting is a sting every time.
    Well, I (respectfully) couldn’t disagree with you more (Brad). I, for one, think James has done a lot to make anyone who is ready to want to listen, listen…and listen deeply. And not only to listen…but to think for themselves, (you haven’t been listening) and then come to their own conclusions- maybe about reality on this earth, as well as about James himself – the man, who is not a Hero or a God, but a teacher and a writer and a thinker. A thinker who helps others think too. I think maybe you are just not ready, Brad, Maybe you need to sleep some more. And maybe you will join us when you wake up from your slumber. Until then, I intend to stay, and learn, and listen, and contribute too, because life is a two-way street, one with puddles and potholes, and pebbles and all the rest, one that’s worth walking down. I’m willing to walk it. Keep it coming James….. With much love…always… ~ Lori

    1. Lori, I trust you read this response. You are amazing. I’ve known that for a while. Not because you attempt to defend me for the only thing which does not need defense is the truth. But because of your depth of awareness and the energy from which you speak. I’ve known for years that if I can in some way “teach the teachers” that the impact is multiplied. At some level we’re all teachers, yet for those of us who choose this (or are chosen) specifically our path is fraught with pitfalls and dangers. For in this way only can we potentially stand solid and alone above the next peak and shine the lantern below for those who have yet to climb. Much love ~ JAR

  38. James,
    Pain is the mother of growth does not sound comfortable, but i am confident the statement is true. This is a reminder about pain being a good thing.
    I cannot imagine your pain and I cannot imagine your growth. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *