Common Minds

“Please remember that a life of passion and purpose
will take no less than every single thing you have.”
~ T. S. Elliot

Okay you’re still here and you’re still reading so I’ll assume you’ve chosen a path of your own Ultimate Performance and greatness.


Make sure you fully internalize Elliot’s admonishment above.

So let’s go back to the price of greatness that we’ve been discussing. For hard work and relentless practice is just the beginning.

The life of mastery is a never-ending and life-long pursuit.
Ten thousands hours are just a warm up.

I was speaking with a good friend of mine recently. John is one of the most successful talent managers in Hollywood; it was dinner time. I said, “John how are you doing?” He replied with a chuckle, “Great! I’m just grabbing dinner and gearing up for the second half of my day.”

Why is he one of the most successful individuals in his field? Because it’s his purpose and he’s giving it every single thing he has.

What are you doing?

I’ve spoken at great length in previous writings about the necessity of solitude; and the differences between networking and socializing, so I won’t go into depth again here. (reference Mastery, Genius and Greatness 8) on networking; and (reference Ultimate Human Performance 9) on solitude.

Yet, let’s come back to the controversial topic of solitude.

There’s a big difference between choosing to be alone and loneliness.

If you choose to pursue your own Ultimate Performance you cannot escape the fact that this outcome will only be achieved by you; and by you alone.

Please understand that the term alone not only implies that you’ll have to do it yourself (which you will), but also indicates that you’ll do it in solitude. For such is the price of greatness.

This doesn’t mean you won’t have a team, for all greats have great teams; and research from Washington University proves that a powerful community is paramount to focused flow and Ultimate Performance.

Yet this does not neglect the fact that personal greatness is ultimately achieved personally.

I can only show you the door…show you door-james-arthur-ray
You have to walk through it. No one will carry you across the threshold.

Back to aloneness.

When someone tells me they’re lonely it tells me they’re longing for something that’s not there. Focusing on what’s not there is a very disempowering state and a less than enjoyable way to experience life.

Focusing on what’s not there fragments your energy and makes you less than whole. When you’re fragmented, you have less than your full abilities to use for ultimate performance. Do you follow?

My mother frequently asked, as I jetted around the globe by myself, “Son aren’t you lonely?” To which I would reply, “No mom, I’m choosing to be alone.”

Choosing to be alone and loneliness are two vastly different experiences.

Bottom line?

Are you sitting down?

Is your seatbelt buckled?

This may not be popular, and it just might rock your programmed world…

If you choose to pursue your own Ultimate Performance it’s a fact that while you may have lots of associations and acquaintances, you’ll have very few friends.

Let that sink in for a minute.

If you can find a community and team of common minds, then you’re rare and truly blessed.

Determine if your community either makes or breaks you. Read more about it here.

This is contrary to the collective thinking of “being social and continually active.”

To develop your mastery and bring your greatness to the world takes the very difficult task of breaking from the patterns of the past.

You are the by-product of other people’s habitual way of thinking!

Those who choose mastery and greatness think for themselves! Are you thinking? Unfortunately, most people only think they think. In reality they’re just ruminating on the same information from the past. Over and over and over again.

True thinking is creative and instantaneous.
All else is just rumination on the programs of the past.

Yet even when you do truly think, it still takes a large amount of energy and time to break free from the programming of the past.

There are only two ways to live your life as I see it: leashed and limited. Or Unleashed and Unlimited. The choice is yours!

There are only two ways to live your life:
leashed and limited. Or Unleashed and Unlimited; and the choice is yours!

life unleashed-james-arthur-rayWe dive deeply into this topic, learn it, and most importantly integrate it into our lives, in my experience Life Unleashed LIVE! 

Which do you choose? Leashed and limited? Or Unleashed and Unlimited?

The unleashed and unlimited, and likewise Ultimate Performing, life will again have lots of associations and acquaintances, yet very few friends. Accept it. Get used to it.


Most people won’t “get you.”

They won’t understand your level of passion, purpose and commitment. Remember, it will take “no less than every single thing you have.”

One of my associates was telling me recently, “My family asks me why I’m doing what I’m doing because they say I don’t seem happy.” I get it. For true happiness as we’ve explored in the work of Csikszentmihalyl and others is experienced while pushing against challenges. (reference UHP9)

True happiness is not the tip-toe through the tulips and dancing in the rose garden and toasting with acquaintances that society has programmed us to believe. In fact, it’s just the opposite.

Those things are actually the antithesis of true happiness.

True happiness and fulfillment are experienced, only when and if they are experienced, when you’re going after your own personal best!

Your personal best of today must become the norm of tomorrow.

If most people don’t get you then you’re probably on the right track!on right track-james-arthur-ray

The true friends you will have will be on the same path as you. Not necessarily going after the same things as you, but going after their own Ultimate Performance like you.

As a result there will be a commonality. There will be a resonance and a rapport.  There will be a deep and mutual understanding. There will be a common mind.

They, like you, will not have time to waste on superfluous things. For they, like you, realize that time is short; and therefore time is of the essence.

Tick tock.

Can you handle it?

Get used to it.

And the journey continues…

Stay Awake, Love Life, and Be Epic!

james arthur ray


8 Responses

  1. i had a very difficult day getting destroyed. but this makes me want to get back in the game. thank you. now i realize clearly why i dont like socializing like other people. and now i realize why i love getting destroyed and losing, because at least im in the arena,no matter how painful or difficult it is emotionally.

  2. Ethan Anderson when things appear to be falling apart they're actually just coming together on a higher level of potential. Stay strong. Stay the course #LIVEBIG

  3. The 'Unleashed and Unlimited' life comes from, is a stand that, who "I am" makes a difference. Once one becomes that. stands for that, you will notice, everyone else does too, whether they believe it or not. The 'difference' many make may mean you leave them be.

    The happiness issue for me is if your friends and family are concerned about you, especially because you don't seem happy about what you are doing… you are doing it wrong. If those closest to you get, actually experience, your happiness they will have most of their 'problems' with you disappear. What does it take to BE notoriously happy? Don't know? Find out and be that.

    TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
    And sorry I could not travel both
    And be one traveler, long I stood
    And looked down one as far as I could
    To where it bent in the undergrowth;

    Then took the other, as just as fair,
    And having perhaps the better claim,
    Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
    Though as for that the passing there
    Had worn them really about the same,

    And both that morning equally lay
    In leaves no step had trodden black.
    Oh, I kept the first for another day!
    Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
    I doubted if I should ever come back.

    I shall be telling this with a sigh
    Somewhere ages and ages hence:
    Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
    I took the one less traveled by,
    And that has made all the difference.

    – Robert Frost

  4. things are falling apart to come together on higher level better …well … most people are thinking they're thinking, but they not..fine..last days i ponder about ,what the hell i do wrong… im not sure.. but i see clearly how my choises are going worce by worce, year by year..strange part is, that it even doesnt hurt anymore..just pissing me off:D if this EGO maniac is me, who i see in others… embraising really…scarry even..must change somehow ..better ..

  5. Michael Eisbrener… herein lies the great misnomer. What is happiness? A perma smile? Dance and play? Unfortunately while this is the common mind… well documented research proves that we are actually MOST happy when we're going after BIG challenges and BIG GOALS. Not when we're necessarily smelling roses and gazing at rainbows. It's in the struggle that greatness is potentially born. The willingness to push against our own self-imposed boundaries and limitations. This is the grand awakening; and to the outside world what may look like angst and struggle in the intrinsic world is the fight for a grand purpose. #LIVBIG

  6. Well the problem is that our society tags you negatively if you are not social, I don't have that problem because I have never been very sociable, but many people uses alcohol in order to force their personality into socialise with people they don't even like.

    Have you always been a loner James? Did your experience being away for two years made easier to be more focus on your own goals?

    Do you think this is for everybody or some people cannot never be on their own?

    Thanks for this lesson, and as you say, the journey continues….

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